Just Another Day

A few years back, after being asked what I wanted for my birthday, I was browsing the Costco website. Hey, I am a simple woman, it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy. While perusing, I stumbled across an LED magnification mirror, rechargeable! I knew that my eyesight was getting a bit fuzzy, and I figured it could help me avoid any makeup faux pas when it came to blending my concealer/foundation, plucking my eyebrows, or while applying my eyeliner. Turns out it was probably the single worst birthday gift I have ever received.  Oh, not because it doesn't work. It works. It works a little TOO WELL, if you get my drift.  It amplifies everything that the Lord mercifully tried to blunt my eyesight so that I wouldn't see.  The sun spots. The wrinkles. The little red dots that I find particularly infuriating up by my hairline that I am sure are some type of sun damage.  I mean, I am sure it's all some form of sun damage, I live in Southern California and I grew up ou...

 One day not too long ago, I looked in the mirror and there was something weird happening on my left eyelid. I didn't worry too much, because as I have aged, I have discovered that there are many, many weird things that start happening with my body, so I like to have a wait and see approach.  After a couple of days, the thing looked a bit like a blister, wasn't painful but didn't look right. Then I got a really good look at it with a magnification mirror. Turns out it was an eyelash that decided to grow upwards and into my eyelid instead of outward. What the hell? Why do our bodies do such outlandish things at this age? I have never had anything remotely like that happen to me ever before.  I half-heartedly attempted to try and pluck it out of the skin with my own tweezers, but the angle was terrible, and I could just picture myself gouging my eyeball out or something. Which is the last thing I need. Asking my husband to do it was nowhere on the option list, he has very l...

So we find ourselves dealing with a problem car. Which, ironically is a Honda Civic, which according to almost every single car ratings publisher of any kind, is the most reliable car you could ever possibly buy. However, it is a 2016, which was the first year of the current model redesign, and now in hindsight, you should never buy the first year of a model redesign.  From the get go, it has had problems with the air conditioner, which in this climate, is very bad. There was a recall for one part, but then the one part causes another part to go bad, which isn't under recall, and then you have to get that one fixed too, and its all just a big mess. For the last two summers my husband has just put coolant in at the beginning of hot weather and just crossed his fingers that it would make it through the summer. Which is barely has.  And now for over a month we have taken it to the mechanic about five times, and now we are at a point where we are being told that it needs a "new...

 Ok, so it may be a bit dramatic to say the move was a disaster, but I would categorize it as such.  Did I tell you we had to push the move back a week because SoCalGas could not come out in time? So that meant my rented dumpster didn't time correctly with the day of the moveout, which wasn't how that was supposed to go.  And I mean, I THOUGHT we packed things well, but apparently the garage was not well packed. Which I tried to warn my husband about, that I thought we had too many loose items up in the rafters and such.  Well, it was true and the move turned into a partial pack and it took SO LONG. SO VERY LONG. We were all exhausted by the end of the day, and I know it was kind of our fault, but the movers still did damage a lot of my furniture, broke my television, gouged my beautiful new bedroom wall, and then one of them spilled motor oil on the driveway and then tracked it into the house. So 11pm found my husband on his hands and knees with isopropyl alcohol, s...

 I know that around the holidays people say they are really busy. And I am sure that they are. But I have been REALLY, TRULY busy in a way I haven't been busy for a very long time. Sixteen years, to be exact. You see, in one week, are moving. After sixteen years of being in this place, we are relocating. It is a very big change, for a very good reason, and overall a very positive thing. It's really and truly a blessing, to be honest.  I am not going to say why or where at this time, but suffice it to say there has been a home remodel for the past 7 months on top of the current moving process. Did I mention, I HAVE BEEN BUSY? There have been many Marie Kondo moments in the past few weeks for me, and I have donated an astonishing amount of things. You can accumulate quite a bit in that amount of time, and we have even done a fair bit of purging here and there too. But still, so much to go through.  As I have grown older, I am realizing that things are just, things. I am try...

No, sorry to disappoint, this is not a show with hot questions and even hotter wings. Although we do adore watching it, and our favorite guest by far was Conan O'Brien. If you haven't seen the show, it's possible that Conan's episode may not be where you want to start. The sheer unhinged insanity of it might spoil every other episode thereafter. Or, possibly it will make you hate the show altogether. It could go either way, really. But, if you do enjoy celebrity interviews with actually thoughtful questions, you should seek Hot Ones out.  No, this post is about my hot takes about things. Many things. Unrelated things. ALL THE THINGS! HOT TAKE #1 Zipper merging is great, fantastic, wonderful. Except 9 out of 10 people, at least in Southern California, can't, or refuse, to do it correctly. When traffic is moving slowly, 20 cars piling up to merge all the way at the very end of the merge lane is definitely not the way it was designed to be used. This also leads me to w...

I have been forced to conclude that I am by far the weakest link in the group when it comes to Escape Rooms. It's taken about 5 or 6 times, but finally I am here to acknowledge publicly that I don't have what it takes to complete these things.  My daughter and husband? On it. They stride about the room, proclaiming insightful observations about the various objects in the room and how they might be interconnected. They often have flashes of brilliance that lead to exciting breakthroughs and the next clue.  Me? I am definitely TRYING to be insightful, but I tend to just sort of point out 1 or 2 slightly useful things, and that's about it. I think my biggest accomplishment on the last room was discovering that a picture frame could be opened up. Invaluable contribution, I'm sure.  Sigh... Not to mention I am absolutely terrible at combination locks. I have no idea why, but if my life depended on my skills to accurately and quickly line up 5+ lines of a combination lock, I ...

 Well, the Celebration of Life went off with nary a hitch. My sister pushed back on the flowers, so I figured if she was that invested in not doing formal arrangements, so be it. I wasn't thrilled with how the flowers looked, but overall they were fine. My standards are probably too high for my own good. I was super lucky in choosing a really great caterer, and they did a beautiful set up, as well as the food being pretty delicious! My mother loved a high tea, so we went with a lot of things from a high tea menu, along with some of her favorite desserts. More than one person told me that the menu reminded them of times they spent with my mother and that was really very meaningful to me.  It is exactly why I went in that direction and I think it really paid off.  Also, I know that the event really provided a sense of closure for my Dad.  I think this type of tribute to my Mom was something he had been wanting to do, and I am glad we were able to finally execute it....

Well, my whisper campaign worked? We will be hosting a Celebration of Life for my mother in October. Not quite at the year mark, but close enough, I guess.  One interesting thing is that apparently my sister and Dad discussed it without me and then my sister just sort of informed me it was happening and on what date. And then I was expected to plan the majority of it.  Which. Is fine. I am currently not employed and my former job had me planning galas for 500, so this is definitely in my wheelhouse.  However, I just felt like old patterns were being repeated and not in a good way when I was not even involved in the discussions about the event and then just told about it. I mean, maybe I had made plans for that day! Maybe I had bought tickets to a concert or something! They would never have known because they didn't ask!  Many of my friends were outraged on my behalf, and I don't blame them. My sister may perhaps have, ahem, control issues. I think part of it may come...

I have determined that my family is...unusual. Well, I have always known this. The one year anniversary of my mother's passing is coming at the end of September.  We did not hold any kind of memorial service for my mother. For a number of reasons, I think. She was cremated, her death was so unexpected and fast, and it came right around a bunch of family birthdays and holidays. I think it felt at the time like we would be scheduling a memorial around a birthday or Thanksgiving and that just seemed like a huge bummer and we didn't want to do that to people. From August to January the majority of our family has their birthdays and of course all the major holidays.  But I do know my mother, and the Leo in her would want some kind of acknowledgment of her passing.  She would love to have a fancy room with beautiful flowers and people dressed up and speaking about her in glowing terms. I KNOW this IN MY BONES. She would be kind of insulted to just have nobody do anything at all...

I attended a Catholic elementary school here in SoCal back in the 70's. My parents were quite economically challenged at the time, and we literally lived in a rental home behind two businesses and next to a bar and a liquor store.  I didn't grow up with any kids or families around me, just adults parking in our "yard" to go to one of the businesses and me scheming constantly to locate spare coins so I could furtively purchase Abba Zabbas and Funyuns from the liquor store.  Because of the rich tapestry that is Southern California, the Catholic school I attended at the time was transitioning from what I assume was mostly white (based on the priests and nuns) to what the Catholic Church is today in California, majority Hispanic, with the majority being of Mexican heritage. I never thought about it growing up, really.  I didn't realize it until much later that the majority of my class was Hispanic. I am not going to use Latinx because I have heard from so many of the ...

 Ahhhh, this writing thing, it feels good! I had forgotten how much. When I say the last 12 or so years have been a blur, I really mean it. I think once I went back to work, it was on. Even though it was part time, having two kids, one of them neuro-divergent, just put me into a mental and physical overdrive that I am only now starting to come down off of. I didn't really realize how much until I just kind of stopped.  Did I mention I had to leave my job? It happened just back in March.  I won't get into the particulars of it, but let's just say I was given an interesting choice by my former boss.  A choice that pretty much any worker would find impossible to make, and I said, screw it, I'm out. It was only twenty hours a week anyway and it had kind of turned into the job from hell.  I had left my cushy government job to strike out into the non profit world where I was told I could work from home! Have more flexibility! Use my years of expertise to get out and w...

 Mutate is such a loaded word, is it not? It has a fairly simple technical definition but somehow mutate carries a heavier, more loaded connotation than the word "change." And if that is the case, then you could definitely say that my life has...mutated. It seems that I am the winner of a very specific type of genetic lottery and let's just say the prize isn't a good one. A month or so after my mother's death, my Dad received a notification from my mom's oncologist, stating that one of her biopsies came back with a gene mutation that may have led to her death and it is inheritable. They recommended testing for any children, and you know it's bad when Kaiser recommends genetic testing.  So, I go to get the testing done and lo and behold, I hold the golden ticket.  Now, it isn't the BCRA gene, thank goodness, which is much more aggressive and would have a much bigger impact.  However, this gene apparently can have its hand in multiple organs, not just b...

 Hoooo boy. Welp. This is awkward. More awkward than I thought it would be. I find myself agreeing with almost everyone that as I get older, the time goes by more slowly each day, but seemingly much faster in the aggregate.  I am still working part time, although with a nonprofit, not the government agency I was with for almost 8 years. So far, I am enjoying it, especially as I mostly work remotely. My oldest graduated university in December. He has interned at the White House and done another internship with an unnamable three-letter government agency in DC.  However, with the changes that are coming in the federal government, he will most likely be walking a different path than the one he expected. I feel badly for him, for who could have predicted? My youngest is in her first year of high school, which is crazy to type. She continues to be her kind, hilarious, empathetic self, and is a joy to everyone that knows her.  My husband retired from his old job, where he ...

Why did I stop writing here? With the grace of 20/20 hindsight, there were a LOT of reasons. My daughter's journey would get tougher and tougher, and as I added work into the mix of raising two kids, it was one more thing I just didn't have time for. And well, that work thing.  It sure does suck a lot of free time away, doesn't it?  Even though I am still only part time. I will be honest, as much as I adored all the people on the blogosphere that were kind enough to grace me with their wit and time, I just could not keep up with the constant commenting that I felt was only fair to these wonderful people.   So instead, what did I do? I did what any self respecting coward would do. I ghosted, of course. Not that I think my absence was enough to cause people to be distressed, but I feel badly if anyone felt slighted. Even as I write this, I feel like I am being waaaay too self important.  Isn't that the whole point of a blog, though?  Nobody writes a blog that...

The end of the school year, finally! Did I tell you that my son went to public school this past year? Did I tell you that my daughter was in a regular Kinder classroom this year? Although it was nice to have them both in school, there were definitely things I was not so hip on, such as having to wake up at 5:20 every morning just to get everyone out the door on time.  And then after all the driving and dropping off, going to work. Such fun! I had forgotten the dreariness of having to complete mounds and mounds of homework (even though new research has shown that homework, especially for Kinder, is for shit).  Of constant deadlines and fundraisers and things I am supposed to volunteer for. My daughter had a good year, but was definitely not without its bumps. Her teacher, an older, highly experienced, practical woman with a Master's in Education, kept referring to my daughter as an "inclusion student."  It wasn't her name or just "student" but was...

Dear Driver of the Vintage Truck in front of me, If I cannot tell whether your custom (I'm assuming) sticker on the back of your cab is Jerry Garcia, Jesus, or King Triton, then your intended message to your fellow road companions is COMPLETELY LOST. Thank you, The Puzzled Driver behind you who was driving with her kids and could not snap a photo.  But, trust Her, there was no way to tell.

Not too long ago, Hubba-hubba and I were able to get some babysitting (i.e. pay someone a boatload of money to come to our house, ON TOP of the money we were spending to go out. Yay?) and went to one of our favorite bars.  This is fairly ironic, because we don't drink a lot, yet the first place we thought of going when we knew we were going out alone was there.  Well, I'll be honest, we really only have one favorite bar.  I think at this point we are just looking for a place that we can be sure has NO CHILDREN.  Because honestly, we are SICK OF THEM already.  I don't want to pay good money to hang out somewhere where there are children, because if I wanted to hang out with them, I would just STAY HOME.   Anyhoo, we get there and strike up a conversation with the bartender, which we often like to do.  He is friendly, as befits a bartender, but for whatever reason he really started warming up to us. This particular bar is famous for it's ve...

When you have a child with a disability, one of the first things you try to do is get help. Help can come in many forms, from therapists to doctors to the school system. When my daughter was first deemed "disabled enough" (my term) to qualify for our school district's Special Education Program, I was thrilled.  I was coming off long days and nights caring for her, taking her to therapists, and basically struggling by myself as my husband had to, you know, make a living. Therefore when they told me she could be in the Pre-kindergarten program they have for children ages 3-5, I was over the moon.  My god, two hours to myself!  Every day!  She would be given some speech therapy and she qualified at the time for occupational therapy as well.  Didn't matter that the occupational therapy was twenty minutes from the school and I had to sit in the school parking lot while she was there, it was like 45 minutes of heaven to me at the time. When children are accept...

A few months ago at a community garage sale, my son wasted some money on an Anaheim Angels clock.  I'm sure whomever he bought it off of heaved a huge sigh of relief as he left their yard.  He isn't even a big fan of the team, I think he just liked the way it looked. It's an old-fashioned looking clock, with little feet and fake alarm bells at the top.  I'm sure I did not describe that well at all.  Let's see if I can find a picture that sort of looks the same. There we go, it looks exactly like that, even the same color.  Except picture the maybe not-so-famous mascot of the Anaheim Angels, the Rally Monkey, dancing on the face. For the longest time it just sat around, first in my son's room, until my daughter stole it and then it sat in my daughter's room instead.  Simply a change of locale. It didn't actually function, it just looked sort of cool, apparently. Finally, my daughter found some batteries and put them in the clock....