Mirror in the Bathroom


A few years back, after being asked what I wanted for my birthday, I was browsing the Costco website. Hey, I am a simple woman, it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy. While perusing, I stumbled across an LED magnification mirror, rechargeable! I knew that my eyesight was getting a bit fuzzy, and I figured it could help me avoid any makeup faux pas when it came to blending my concealer/foundation, plucking my eyebrows, or while applying my eyeliner.

Turns out it was probably the single worst birthday gift I have ever received.  Oh, not because it doesn't work. It works. It works a little TOO WELL, if you get my drift. 

It amplifies everything that the Lord mercifully tried to blunt my eyesight so that I wouldn't see. 

The sun spots. The wrinkles. The little red dots that I find particularly infuriating up by my hairline that I am sure are some type of sun damage.  I mean, I am sure it's all some form of sun damage, I live in Southern California and I grew up outside in the 70's and 80's without the benefit of sunscreen. I was going to pay the piper at some point. But the two things that really get me are the pores. And the hairs. 

Now, we all have pores on our face. I know that, intellectually. But man, why do mine have to be so damn large? Especially on my nose? I don't get it. Every time I look in the mirror, they give me a jump scare. And I feel that now every time I put on some makeup, which I now try to be more natural about because heavier makeup just feels wrong at this point, the makeup just settles in and finds a comfy home after a bit. And this is even with an amazing primer. 

And now for the hairs. I think I have gone far past peach fuzz and just gone for full forest at this point. I am lucky that they seem to be mostly blonde but not the ones on the upper lip, of course. Then I have these terrible long, incredibly thick gray ones that grow out of my chin and love to become ingrown and they drive me bonkers. There are just two of them, but they are straight from hell and I hate them with the intensity of a thousand suns. 

So now I know the reason why as we age, we lose the clarity of our vision. It is so that we don't see all the terrible things happening to our own bodies. Don't do as I did, save yourself, don't get the magnification mirror and live in wonderful, blissful, ignorance!

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