Just Another Day

Repeat after me: I will not raid my child's Halloween candy stash this year. I will not raid my child's Halloween candy stash this year. I will not raid my child's Halloween candy stash this year. Riiiiight....

Am I the only person who insists upon taking a shower before I work out? I mean, I know there is truly no point to it, I will just get all sweaty and have to take another shower. But, I still do it anyway. Maybe I just like taking showers. My Mom, my Dad, and I are the only people I know who never add sugar to their tea. Rap music has pretty much passed me by. Oh sure, I will listen to some "old school" like Run DMC, Beastie Boys, and LL Cool J, but that's about it. The new stuff is kind of coarse and low and I just don't like listening to it. Mr. Personality is now about 50/50 with peeing in the potty. We're getting there! So what if he has to be bribed, I stopped caring about four months ago. Anything to get him to pee in the potty. Our anniversary is coming up, and sadly, we have no freaking clue what we would like to do. We just sit and stare at each other and say, "I dunno, what do you want to do?" Classic deflection tactics. We definitely...

Why oh why do I bother taking Mr. Personality to places like Disneyland when he thinks that drinking from a public drinking fountain is the highest form of entertainment? That and jumping off of things shouting, "To infinity- and beyond!" I should just save myself some money and install a drinking fountain and rocks of various heights in our patio.

I am thinking I should be absolutely hanging my head in shame because someone found my blog by searching Yahoo! for "mess clutter dirt." Oy.

So I was visiting Happy and Blue 2's blog, and he had a post that asked, "What are you famous for?" I racked my brain for a while, and an incident that occurred when I was in third grade came to mind. I remember the day very clearly. My friend Rayna's mother was acting as the substitute PE teacher. I loved PE, and I was usually quite good at everything I was asked to do. This being her first, (and most likely only) time subbing, Mrs. V simply had us running relay races. Now for this to make sense, I have to explain that our playground area doubled as the parking lot for the church. Have I mentioned that I went to Catholic school? Anyway, our concrete paradise was this crazy patchwork of parking space lines interspersed with volleyball and basketball court outlines, all jumbled together. Which takes me to the basketball courts. We were running the relays in that general area. I think my team was winning, although that could just be wishful embellishment on my p...

So for quite a while now, I have been wanting to start up my own business. I happen to think that I would be quite a good founder/CEO type. My plan is to simply delegate everything to my underlings because I am too lazy for any of the details. Anyhoo, I finally thought of a business model that I really think would reach an underserved niche of the population. I call it "Bitches R Us." You see, if you are one of those types who shies away from confrontation at all costs, then we should be on your speed-dial. Did a company charge you the wrong amount? Call "Bitches R Us," and we will handle it for you. No need to worry any longer about confusing and possibly loud verbal exchanges with poorly trained customer service people. Too busy to write that nasty letter to the hotel for putting you in the room next to the elevator that used to be the service closet? Then we're the people you need to get in touch with. We'll write something so good, they'll comp ...

   

So I have been doing a bit of trolling. I visited a few "right-wing" blogs and websites, looking to see what they were saying about the likes of DeLay, Libby, Rove and Frist . Not much to my surprise, it wasn't a whole lot. There was quite a bit of "left wing conspiracy" talk, especially in reference to DeLay and the Democratic prosecutor. I didn't catch any mention of Libby, Rove, and Frist other than some factual statements about grand jury testimonies and SEC filings and such. Where exactly is the outrage from the Republican Party? Can this possibly the same party that whipped itself into a foaming, frothing, rabid frenzy when it came to President Clinton and a blow job? The self-anointed party of morality and Christian values? All the charges against the men mentioned above are serious crimes, serious abuses of power from elected officials and people in positions of power. Crimes that have affected many people's lives and livelihoods. The outi...

So I have this planter in my patio. When we first looked at this place, the previous owners had just redone the entire patio, including this planter. It is about six feet wide by about twenty feet long. It is made with the same concrete blocks as our patio walls, which I hate. I mean, why couldn't he have gone with brick or something? But no, identical ugly-ass beige concrete blocks everywhere you look. This planter was filled with cacti. Yes, cacti. Now I am all in appreciation for the glorious diversity of flora in our world. But I can really do without my own personal cacti garden. When we were drawing up terms of the sale, the sellers insisted that they get to take some of the more "rare" cacti with them, as if they were going to have a fight on their hands. Instead, I told them to take all of them out, because I planned on redoing the entire thing. I had grand dreams about this planter. When I closed my eyes, I saw lush beautiful green plants, interspersed...

So today was the first public showing of Mr. Personality's Bob the Builder Halloween costume. One of the local farmer's markets was having a special Halloween celebration, so Grandma and I decided to take him. Last year, we spent a bundle of money on a Captain Hook outfit from Disneyland. He liked it, he looked cute, and I even thought he might wear it again this year. No such luck, as this 3 year old is a bit on the opinionated side. Nothing but Bob would do. I toyed with the thought of a semi-homemade costume, as we have overalls and an orange checked flannel shirt here. He has a toolbelt, and even a helmet. But, in the end I caved and bought a Bob costume from Target, which cost 15.99 for a one piece overall, a fabric toolbelt, and a helmet with a picture of Bob the Builder on it. He was so excited to see himself transformed as Bob, we both started giggling. He began to pretending to talk on the cellphone to Wendy, and then ordered Pilchard out of the building yard. H...

So I rarely recommend books to people. It makes me uncomfortable. People's tastes are so different, and there really is no accounting for it. Nothing would make me feel guiltier than to tell someone to read a book that I had liked, and then they go and read it and at the end feel as if they had wasted hours of their lives. Because of me. But, since people have asked so very prettily, I will go ahead and give you some of my personal favorites in the sci-fi/fantasy genre, although most of these more closely adhere to fantasy. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (Trilogy) Douglas Adams Page for page, the first book of the trilogy is one of the funniest I have ever read. The second two are good as well, and hey, its a trilogy so you gotta read them all. This is a sci-fi book, British humor. I heard the movie wasn't very good, but the movies are rarely any good. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West Gregory Maguire It is what it says, a twist on the lif...

So I am going to have to admit it once and for all. I have in the past tried to hide my unfortunate prediliction (as some would say) but I now know that it is time to come clean. To be honest about what has happened, and come to grips with being on the fringes. Ever since I was a young girl, I have been conflicted, but I must be true to myself. You see, I am an avid sci-fi/fantasy book reader. Oh, a chair you say? Here you are. Yes, yes, I have a paper bag somewhere. I have heard that it helps to put your head between your knees. I blame my sister. You see, my sister was the quote, unquote "geek" of the family. She was the die-hard D&D player, not me. She was extremely bookish, extremely smart. She is super-intelligent, and she somewhat has that kind of disdain for us "ordinaries" that some of those people have. I wouldn't call it a superiority complex, she just thinks she's smarter than like, 98% of the population. And I guess her Mensa member...

So I overheard this conversation when I was curled up on a gurney the other day in the Acute Care Center. I could hear every word because it was set up similarly to an emergency room, with alcoves that were drawn with curtains as opposed to rooms. Man Patient: You know Doc, I'm just really bad. I mean, I think that every aspect of my life is being affected by this. My work, my job, my sleep, everything. I just don't know what else to do, and I need something that is really going to help... (Blah blah blah in the same vein, basically trying to convince the doctor how serious his condition was) Man Doctor: Hmmmm, ok, then I think if it is affecting you that badly and you want to get back on your feet and feel better as quickly as possible, then the best way to do that is to give you a quick shot of cortisone. Let me go and get that set up... Man Patient: Uh, a shot? Man Doctor: Yes, a cortisone shot will do the trick. Man Patient: (Panic in his voice) Oh, well, uh.... I was...

So last night was the ultimate coup, the long-planned for 60th Anniversary party for my grandparents. Close to 50 people attended, and boy was it ever a shindig. They had no clue that this dinner was going to be anything other than a small family affair. People from other states were there, a 94-year old, (who, by the way, is mentally sharper than me) and a friend they had not seen in over 19 years all travled to congratulate them and join in the celebration. The look on their faces when they came in as everyone stood and cheered and clapped was something I will never forget, and as I was manning the videocamera, I started to cry, as did many other people. Hopefully, we can edit out my sniffles. They both were from immigrant families, my grandfather's Italian and my grandmother's Czech. Both of these families lived in a poor coal-mining town in Western Pennsylvania. Coal mining was one of the few jobs these recent arrivals could get, since no one else wanted to hazard the ...

So, Friday finds me at last able to sit at the computer and type a bit. Hubba-hubba, bless his little heart, was able to type in that last entry... Hmmmm, now I know why I try not to have him do it! Now, whether you want it or not, you are going to get the whole story... The fiery dragon teeth that had been gnashing at my back refused to go away. I threw Motrin, Vicodin, Soma at them, and they would not budge in the least. I was unable to stand up straight for almost five days. Whenever I would even try, the teeth would chomp hard, causing me to literally scream in pain and collapse to the floor. I had to crawl around to get anywhere. Except for the screaming part, that was highly entertaining to Mr. Personality. Seriously, I have never wanted to avoid going to the bathroom so badly in my life. I will never again take for granted the ability to wipe my own butt. Everyone kept thinking it would get better soon, including me. As people had to come over and help watch Mr. Persona...

So I have become more intimately familiar with the fibers of my carpet than I have ever wanted. Wednesday morning gifted to me the most horrific set of back spasms yet. Unable to walk, I have crawled and moaned my waythrough the house for 5 days now. I have to say, it's getting a bit stale this point. If you had told me two weeks ago that I would be lolling around a bed, having other people wait on me hand and foot, I would have been thrilled to hear it. but, I am more than ready for the screaming agony in my back to go away, already. Now that I know exactly how dirty my baseboards are, I've got to get going here.

So last Sunday, I had company coming. Our carpets have been needing a good cleaning for a while now, and I was thinking they were smelling less than fresh. When Mr. Personality woke me up that morning at about 6am, in my blurry state of mind, right then was a good time to spray some Febreze on all the chairs, sofas, and carpet. I figured the stuff took a while to dry and could be a bit overwhelming, and as they were arriving at 930am, I figured I would give it lots of time to dry and dissipate. For some odd reason, I didn't feel the need to turn on the lights when I began this little operation. It was quite dark, but I just opened up the closet, grabbed the white bottle, and commenced spraying. Perhaps it was lack of sleep, I am not sure. But as I sprayed, a tiny thought sparked in my still half-asleep brain that this stuff was coming out much thicker than how I remembered Febreze being. Undeterred by this, I kept it coming. I sprayed the area rug in the living room, the c...

After taking six or so RSVP's for my grandparent's 60th anniversary party, I realized that I am now one of "those" people. You know, the ones that sound like they have nothing short of a a three-ring circus going on in the background. Between the microwave going, Mr. Personality's extremely loud trucks, Mr. Personality's even louder personal sound effects, and the radio going on all at the same time, it is a wonder anyone can even hear me on the other end. Hillary Clinton should not run for President. I am all for a woman president, blah blah... But, this is the wrong race for such a divisive candidate. Democrats need the White House back, as well as the majority of Congress. Hillary is not going to do us any favors in that regard. We need swing voters, and with her on the ticket, we wouldn't get many. Just being practical here... It seems that it takes longer to actually get ready to go somewhere than the amount of time we spend at the actual desti...