This Message is Not Endorsed By Hubba-Hubba*

I have been getting so many spam messages regarding, ahem, the enlargement of a certain part of the male anatomy that I'm starting to feel inadequate myself. Uh, except, I don't have the thing they are attempting to embiggen. And never have, let's just get that straight right now.

But I keep seeing, "She will feel more pleasure" and "There will be no stopping you after this" so many times that I have sort of involuntarily started to look down and wonder if I might be in need of some assistance.

That's how many of them I am recieving a day.

If I was a man, would the constant bombardment of these messages get to me after a while? If all I got were boob enhancement ads, would the exposure to hundreds of the same "You're inadequate" messages make me feel badly about myself, even if for a minute?

Well actually no. I'm pretty stacked, so they're definitely targeting the wrong market if they were to send those to me.

But I wish they would realize that they are sending p@nis enlargement ads to a chick. And maybe, just maybe, stop sending them? Is it wrong to want ads that are at least directed to the correct segment of the population?

To be sure, a couple of them are a tiny bit smarter (which is kind of like saying a fly is smarter than a gnat) and have messages that are supposed to appeal to females. "More inches for your pleasure" can perhaps make a woman pause for just a second. Although, we all know that size doesn't matter. Right? But hey, maybe, just maybe, the grass that gets to grow a little longer on the other side of the fence is a tad more exciting, you know?

However, any woman who forwards a spam message to her man with the title "Why be an average guy any longer" will certainly find herself sans male companion faster than the time it took to click "send."

*Hubba-hubba takes no responsibility for either the number of spam messages that Gina finds in her inbox, nor does he wish anyone to think that he is in any need of the products mentioned therein.

Comments

Liz said…
I get them too. Luckily my filters get most of them. Whenever a new one gets past, I just add it to my junk sender's list and hope for the best.
4:54 AM
Steph said…
I love gmail for this reason alone. Whenever I click into my spam folder, just to make sure nothing real went in, it's full of these.
5:49 AM
Sunshine said…
Pretty stacked.
Sure, rub it in.
6:14 AM
Heather Plett said…
That's why we can't even let our pre-teen kids open their email - you never know what they're going to see. It really bugs me.
6:50 AM
Ted said…
I would say that most guys don't believe the hype ... but you know what they say about a sucker being born every minute.
7:05 AM
Sue said…
Yeah, I get them too. And I, too, like gmail's great filtering system - in the last six months only about two non-spam messages have ended up in the spam folder, and about the same spam haven't been filtered.

It's hard to imagine that anyone would be taken in by these ridiculous messages, but presumably someone must or the spammers would stop sending them.
7:38 AM
karla said…
Oh my goodness Gina, this was totally hilarious! You're too funny.
7:45 AM
Neponset River Bridge Dig said…
what's the deal with that I get them every day in my outlook inbox. But you know what's funny is they must come in late at night because I never get them while I'm using my PC all day long in the office. I usually find them waiting for me in the morning.
10:46 AM
Autumn's Mom said…
haha, yea we're pretty stacked in my household as well. Why can't they ever spam us with painless bikini waxes or removing cat puke stains from the floor? Just a thought.
10:59 AM
Scout said…
BAH! I gets those every single day, and I don't have that part either. It's a funny idea to forward those messages on to the man of the house. I don't think I'll try that.
1:36 PM
... Paige said…
Why do I get all the medical spam. Maybe I want me some of...

no I don't. I'm good in that department. I mean my beloved of course. NOT me cause I'm not built that way and yes "brick house" is another name for me.
2:48 PM
Bammy said…
Ya know.. I used to get those all the time.. I replied back to one.. and said.. Im a lesbian.. and if mine isnt big enough.. Ill go get another.... I havent had another one since...
4:27 PM
J said…
Amen, sistah! My yahoo catches most of them, but my work email is woefully inadequate. ;) Perhaps my work email needs some, ahem, 'enhancement', to be able to cope?

I am also well endowed enough to not take them personally. But the diet ones would get me, since I weigh about 20 lbs more than I did 20 years ago. Except I think they're all full of crap and don't work. I hope that's what men think when they see the ones pointed at their peni. (plural for penis?)
8:13 PM
Family Adventure said…
I'm still laughing at your post script. But I relate. My junk folder is FILLED with them...

Heidi
10:34 AM
Dana a/k/a Sunshine said…
That is funny but annoying (the ads, not you) AT my work, I get like 50 of them a day and I can assure you, I don't use the product and I'm not a man! They have the stupidest titles ranging from "Let her feel your throbbing rod" to "enlarge your member" and everything in between. And since the title is in the subject line, you can't help but see it even if you don't open the email!!! It is highly annoying. Do they ever actually make a sale from these emails? I have to wonder.
7:52 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Onward

The end of the school year, finally! Did I tell you that my son went to public school this past year? Did I tell you that my daughter was in a regular Kinder classroom this year? Although it was nice to have them both in school, there were definitely things I was not so hip on, such as having to wake up at 5:20 every morning just to get everyone out the door on time.  And then after all the driving and dropping off, going to work. Such fun! I had forgotten the dreariness of having to complete mounds and mounds of homework (even though new research has shown that homework, especially for Kinder, is for shit).  Of constant deadlines and fundraisers and things I am supposed to volunteer for. My daughter had a good year, but was definitely not without its bumps. Her teacher, an older, highly experienced, practical woman with a Master's in Education, kept referring to my daughter as an "inclusion student."  It wasn't her name or just "student" but was...
Read more

Apples and Oranges

Perhaps some of you may have noticed, but the real estate market is beginning a tumble in prices that benefit us, prospective buyers. And we're going to wait. That is cold, cold comfort to those such as J and Py , who are attempting to sell their place as we speak. But, we're not going to wait too much longer, if that makes them feel any better. There is no sense trying to time the bottom of the market, and we have been putting off moving, oh, since Mr. P was born because of the huge runup in prices. So huge that at one point, we could barely afford to buy our own place from ourselves. We should be ok even if we sell at a lower price than we could have gotten say, two years ago. We have, however, a dilemma. We have narrowed our choices down to two cities. And we are stuck there. We just can't figure out which city is better, and they are oh-so-different. Let me give you a rundown. City 1 Older, smaller houses (in our price range) Larger lots Beach city Infrastructure...
Read more

D-A-N-G

As with all young children, for a very long time we parents rely on the old "spell the word out" trick for talking about things in front of them that we don't want them to know. Well, our time seems just about up. Hubba-hubba was trying to tell me about an upcoming event in which Santa would be making an appearance. As Mr. P is very much into Christmas this year, we knew that any mention of Santa would bring a long soliliquoy about how Santa is magic and how he makes the toys and how he has a list and on and on and on. And at that moment, we just didn't feel like hearing it. Don't judge people, don't judge. So, Hubba-hubba spelled out "S-A-N-T-A." "Hey, what did you just say?" said the five year old. "Nothing" lied replied his father. "I know what you said, Daddy! You said Santa!" Anybody know a place that sells semaphore flags?
Read more