Monday, February 04, 2008

This Message is Not Endorsed By Hubba-Hubba*

I have been getting so many spam messages regarding, ahem, the enlargement of a certain part of the male anatomy that I'm starting to feel inadequate myself. Uh, except, I don't have the thing they are attempting to embiggen. And never have, let's just get that straight right now.

But I keep seeing, "She will feel more pleasure" and "There will be no stopping you after this" so many times that I have sort of involuntarily started to look down and wonder if I might be in need of some assistance.

That's how many of them I am recieving a day.

If I was a man, would the constant bombardment of these messages get to me after a while? If all I got were boob enhancement ads, would the exposure to hundreds of the same "You're inadequate" messages make me feel badly about myself, even if for a minute?

Well actually no. I'm pretty stacked, so they're definitely targeting the wrong market if they were to send those to me.

But I wish they would realize that they are sending p@nis enlargement ads to a chick. And maybe, just maybe, stop sending them? Is it wrong to want ads that are at least directed to the correct segment of the population?

To be sure, a couple of them are a tiny bit smarter (which is kind of like saying a fly is smarter than a gnat) and have messages that are supposed to appeal to females. "More inches for your pleasure" can perhaps make a woman pause for just a second. Although, we all know that size doesn't matter. Right? But hey, maybe, just maybe, the grass that gets to grow a little longer on the other side of the fence is a tad more exciting, you know?

However, any woman who forwards a spam message to her man with the title "Why be an average guy any longer" will certainly find herself sans male companion faster than the time it took to click "send."

*Hubba-hubba takes no responsibility for either the number of spam messages that Gina finds in her inbox, nor does he wish anyone to think that he is in any need of the products mentioned therein.

15 comments:

Liz said...

I get them too. Luckily my filters get most of them. Whenever a new one gets past, I just add it to my junk sender's list and hope for the best.

Steph said...

I love gmail for this reason alone. Whenever I click into my spam folder, just to make sure nothing real went in, it's full of these.

Sunshine said...

Pretty stacked.
Sure, rub it in.

Heather said...

That's why we can't even let our pre-teen kids open their email - you never know what they're going to see. It really bugs me.

Py Korry said...

I would say that most guys don't believe the hype ... but you know what they say about a sucker being born every minute.

Sue said...

Yeah, I get them too. And I, too, like gmail's great filtering system - in the last six months only about two non-spam messages have ended up in the spam folder, and about the same spam haven't been filtered.

It's hard to imagine that anyone would be taken in by these ridiculous messages, but presumably someone must or the spammers would stop sending them.

karla said...

Oh my goodness Gina, this was totally hilarious! You're too funny.

Rich said...

what's the deal with that I get them every day in my outlook inbox. But you know what's funny is they must come in late at night because I never get them while I'm using my PC all day long in the office. I usually find them waiting for me in the morning.

Autumn's Mom said...

haha, yea we're pretty stacked in my household as well. Why can't they ever spam us with painless bikini waxes or removing cat puke stains from the floor? Just a thought.

Scout said...

BAH! I gets those every single day, and I don't have that part either. It's a funny idea to forward those messages on to the man of the house. I don't think I'll try that.

... Paige said...

Why do I get all the medical spam. Maybe I want me some of...

no I don't. I'm good in that department. I mean my beloved of course. NOT me cause I'm not built that way and yes "brick house" is another name for me.

Bammy said...

Ya know.. I used to get those all the time.. I replied back to one.. and said.. Im a lesbian.. and if mine isnt big enough.. Ill go get another.... I havent had another one since...

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Amen, sistah! My yahoo catches most of them, but my work email is woefully inadequate. ;) Perhaps my work email needs some, ahem, 'enhancement', to be able to cope?

I am also well endowed enough to not take them personally. But the diet ones would get me, since I weigh about 20 lbs more than I did 20 years ago. Except I think they're all full of crap and don't work. I hope that's what men think when they see the ones pointed at their peni. (plural for penis?)

Family Adventure said...

I'm still laughing at your post script. But I relate. My junk folder is FILLED with them...

Heidi

Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

That is funny but annoying (the ads, not you) AT my work, I get like 50 of them a day and I can assure you, I don't use the product and I'm not a man! They have the stupidest titles ranging from "Let her feel your throbbing rod" to "enlarge your member" and everything in between. And since the title is in the subject line, you can't help but see it even if you don't open the email!!! It is highly annoying. Do they ever actually make a sale from these emails? I have to wonder.