Working, or Not, For a Living

 Ahhhh, this writing thing, it feels good!

I had forgotten how much.

When I say the last 12 or so years have been a blur, I really mean it.

I think once I went back to work, it was on. Even though it was part time, having two kids, one of them neuro-divergent, just put me into a mental and physical overdrive that I am only now starting to come down off of. I didn't really realize how much until I just kind of stopped. 

Did I mention I had to leave my job? It happened just back in March. 

I won't get into the particulars of it, but let's just say I was given an interesting choice by my former boss.  A choice that pretty much any worker would find impossible to make, and I said, screw it, I'm out. It was only twenty hours a week anyway and it had kind of turned into the job from hell. 

I had left my cushy government job to strike out into the non profit world where I was told I could work from home! Have more flexibility! Use my years of expertise to get out and work directly with community partners to improve the lives of others!

Instead, I found myself filing endless pieces of paper, despite begging my boss to PLEASE switch to an electronic signature format. I became a weird sort of bookkeeper, despite having zero bookkeeping experience because my boss wanted to save money.  I lost my FMLA and union protections. I became a person who was expected to anticipate everything with little to no information provided to me and have my boss be upset when I predictably failed to do so, and instead of attend meetings, deliver lunch to them and leave. Everything I did was micro-managed, even down to 30 minute meeting agendas for meetings that I was purportedly running. I say purportedly because my boss would always jump in and take over. It was inevitable. The work from home became a not-so-work from home as my boss became resentful that I was working from home and she wasn't. 

It was actually a good thing that I left and now in a semi-retirement, I have never felt better. It was amazing how much mental energy even a part time job was taking up. A shame, actually. Everyone I see says I look amazing and they aren't wrong. I have had an anvil sized mental burden lifted and it makes me look like a million bucks. Did I mention I had known this boss since I was 18?  Did I mention I got this boss the job she currently has that she made my life miserable with and then forced me out of? Did I mention after she gave me this "choice" that she had the gall to say that what had just happened was "harder for her than for me?" Yeah, it was not so great. 

Someone recently said, oh, if you could find it in your heart to reach out to her and talk to her, I am sure it would make her feel better. I just hate to see a friendship that lasted so long end this way. WELL I AM SURE IT WOULD MAKE HER FEEL BETTER, BUT HELL NO.  She is completely in the moral and ethical wrong in the situation, and on shaky legal ground, although probably ok. There is no scenario in which I am reaching out and giving her any sort of absolution so that she can sleep easier at night. She deserves zero sleep and she is a terrible person. 

There are some significant life changes coming, which is why I haven't yet looked for another job yet. I think I may have two good opportunities lined up, but with this economy, we will have to see how things shake out in the next few months. Fingers crossed there will not be some sort of complete collapse. 

But for now, I am just going through the house, making discard piles and donate piles.  It's quite cathartic and horrifying at the same time. We Americans are guilty of being consummate consumers and not much else. I am trying to be better about it, I really am. People still use soap dishes, right?

Hopefully I will remember sooner rather than later to come back here and have something a bit more compelling to write about. Until then, I hope you are well! Thanks for stopping by!

Comments

J said…
I hope you keep coming back! I’m trying to declutter my house as well. What a process.

I am glad you left that shitty situation, and agree, why the hell should you have to reach out to make her feel better?
1:16 PM
Anvilcloud said…
I am so pleased that you commented. Believe it or not, I have recently remembered you and tought and wondered about you. I don’t remember what stirred that memory, probably nothing in particular, for my mind just makes strange leaps sometimes. I see this isn’t your first post although they are far apart. Do pop back in again sometime.
5:23 PM
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