The Early Bird

Gets to choose the best outfit.

Mr. P's preschool is having their annual Christmas Pageant, with this year's theme being "Christmas Around the World" and as this is a Lutheran school, there is no tiptoeing around the holiday. No "Yuletide Around the World" or "Winter Festival Around the World" over here. It's straight up Christmas, and if you've got a problem with that, don't enroll your kid in a Christian school.

I am always early dropping him off to school because I am just anal like that about almost any appointment or obligation. I have yet to drop him off late. I know I just somehow put that curse out on myself, and it is now echoing through the cosmos, probably coming back to bite me in the ass on the day I need to take him to his SAT's.

So, there I am being all early and stuff, when I see that there is a sign-up sheet on the little table the teacher has set up outside the door. I pick it up, and it seems that this year the school is being anal as well, for there are actual outfits that must be worn to this year's Christmas Pageant. I look at the two choices for boys:

White Dress Shirt and Khaki Pants

or

Blue Dress Shirt, Blue Pants and Blue Suspenders

Huh?

Blue Suspenders? I have no idea where you can even purchase blue suspenders around here. I can't even remember the last time I saw a child, or even a grown man wearing suspenders.

So of course, I sign up for the relatively easy white shirt and khaki pants.

I watched as some of the moms straggled in to class as I was getting in my car. And all I could think was, you are gonna be the chumps who have to go searching high and low for some suspenders that your kid will most likely never wear again.

Suckers.

Comments

Family Adventure said…
...also which role was it that required blue suspenders in the Bible? I can't recall, and being Lutheran, I really need to know.

Heidi
10:54 PM
Gina said…
Well, it's more of a recital, really. I think they are going to mostly sing.
11:10 PM
Awesome Mom said…
You go girl!! I would have done the exact same thing. I would not even know where to begin to look for blue suspenders, although it could have been fun to bring Mr' P to the recital in rainbow suspenders.
11:46 PM
chichimama said…
Go Gina, Go Gina, Go! Me? I'm a sucker mom I got stuck in charge of cut up oranges instead of the paper plates or deli turkey for A's thanksgiving fest because I totally missed the sign up sheet until two days after it went up. Gah.
3:41 AM
Scout said…
It does pay to be first in line and first to sign up.

Actually, the pastor of my church wears suspenders but that's because his gut is such a protruding mass, that without the straps, his pants would wrap around his ankles in the middle of his sermon.
5:03 AM
dgm said…
I would totally sign up for the suspenders just so the other kids could pull them and give my kid a wedgie. A friendly wedgie, of course.

BTW, as a veteran parent at a lutheran school, let me share with you my wisdom and experience: don't throw away that shepherd's costume because you will need it year after year. Every year you will wonder, "why did I get rid of it last year?" and will have to rip up another bedsheet. There is clearly a potential market for last-minute shepherd costumes.
5:48 AM
Jess T said…
AHHH HA HA HA! :) I, like you, hate to be late and this is just one of the benefits! :)
6:08 AM
J said…
I'm an early bird, too. I HATE being late.
6:36 AM
Anvilcloud said…
The early bird gets the khaki.
6:45 AM
Sunshine said…
No doubt, there is somewhere on the internet you can purchase suspenders in every size and color.

Then again, he'd never wear them again and you just parted with $15 plus shipping for SUSPENDERS.

You are some kind of genius, methinks.
6:48 AM
Candy said…
And yet, every time I have had to do the last minute "hit every store until you find a white blouse that fits and is absolutely devoid of any frill, lace or buttons" there are always 3 or 4 other kids who couldn't find one, and chose to wore red. Nothing ever happens to those kids. There should be laws.
7:10 AM
captain corky said…
I think Mork from Ork used to wear suspenders. Maybe Urkel too. Those are the only two people I can think of though.
7:55 AM
Beenzzz said…
Suspenders? Weren't those popular in the early to mid 90's? You're right, I haven't seen anything like that in a LONG time!
8:23 AM
Heather Plett said…
I would just skip the suspenders, but then I'm not very good at following school rules to a T. Especially when it requires that I have to spend money on something useless.
8:34 AM
Autumn's Mom said…
Love being the early bird! That made me laugh out loud. SUCKERS indeed.
8:37 AM
Quiskaeya said…
LOL at family adventure's comment!!! That just cracked me up! Okay now that I've stopped laughing, Lil Man is in Christian school as well so I was actually surprised they had a party for Halloween (although it was call "Harvest Festival").

You're going to have to let us know just how many kids come with suspenders on. That's too funny!
9:03 AM
Heidi said…
I am inconsistant, alternating late and early. I heard this is the worse possible way to be, and means I have a psychological disorder. I will also obsessively search out and find exactly what is needed for a costume and then I snicker at those who didn't, and whose kids show up wearing the wrong things!
9:32 AM
Cherry said…
I'm a late bird! I'm always arriving fashionably late, and it doesn't help that my husband is even more of a procrastinator then I am.

I would be the mom who is rushing around town the night before the pageant looking for the suspenders.
9:53 AM
Mrs. G. said…
It seems every church or school play has at least one item that is eye-of-newt like in its accessibility.
10:29 AM
Steph said…
Those poor moms that got stuck with the suspenders! For the record, I would totally be one of them. :) Good for you for getting the easy outfit!
1:12 PM
Hope said…
I am a stickler for being early or on time, but somehow always end up missing the sign up sheets. that's why I've had to cook turkeys the last few years for community suppers. by the time I notice the sign up sheets all the veggies/buns and salads are signed up for. BTW suspenders can probably be purchased at a wedding shop.
1:15 PM
Nance said…
You know darn well that half the late moms who sign up will nix the suspenders anyway because habitually late people are people who do not follow rules.

Gosh, those people really get under my skin. LOL.
2:07 PM
Liz said…
I had to buy suspenders for a school play costume a couple years ago. I thought I'd never be able to find them but I did at Wal-Mart...the first place I looked!

I'm always early or exactly on time too. I get nervous at the thought of being late!
3:52 PM
Laura said…
I would have been a chump in that situation. Sad to say. I, of course, would have made up a really good excuse about shopping high and low (read: Target) and not being able to find any.
4:50 PM
karla said…
Nothing like a bit of oddball random mixed with a bit of a normal to spice life up a bit, eh?
5:12 PM
Trixie Twatwaffle said…
seriously - I think you may be one of my favorite persons EVER.
5:57 PM
Patois42 said…
Make sure you get photos of the unhappy kids in suspenders. And post them, naturally.
7:02 PM
Anonymous said…
Try as I might I just don't get that one either. Maybe someone has a shop in town that specializes in blue suspenders and needs a little business? :)
8:02 PM
Granny said…
You don't watch Larry King?

Oh well, neither do I anymore but he does wear suspenders.

Now I'm wondering where in the Bible it talks about suspenders. To hold up their robes?
5:55 PM
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