Channeling His Inner Donald

A little bit before summer, I bought my son some plates at Target that were divided into five sections, a big one for the main dish, and then three smaller ones at the top.

As I suspected, he adored them. He is very methodical, very logical, so these appealed to his inner engineer. He also doesn't appreciate his various food items touching each other, so the plates worked like a charm.

Since then, he demands prefers that every meal he eats utilize the plates. I only have four, so sometimes I am short one. Usually, knowing the fuss that will occur, I will simply hand wash so that I have one to use.

Well, I was feeling ill yesterday, and Daddy, not being privy to the odd routines of a five year old, attempted to serve Mr. P his lunch on a regular plate.

It was so not pretty.

I can understand the perspective of hey, is a particular plate really all that important in the grand scheme of life?

And to those that live daily with a child, the short answer is yes. So even though I wasn't feeling great, I went ahead and got a clean one out of the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, talk to me another day about undercutting my husband's authority, blabbity blah...

After I had served him his now-appropriately proportioned lunch, he, with all of the self-righteous anger that only a five year old can muster, pointed at Hubba-hubba and said, "Daddy, you are fired!"

If only life were that easy, kid.

Comments

Awesome Mom said…
Rofl!! We have a few of those plates too but they do not get much use as the monkey plates (from Target too) are in high demand. It is funny how strict kids are in observances of things that adults think are silly. I guess when you have little control in you daily life any kind of control you are given becomes important.
dr sardonicus said…
See, your husband learned something. Next time he'll wash one of Mr. P's plates.
J said…
My mom threw up when she found out that food touches other food in your stomach, it doesn't stay all nice and separate. My great aunt had the same problem as a child. Is mr p a Taurus? No, he had his birthday recently...hmmm. There goes that theory.
Tracy said…
Did he do that thing where he brings all his fingers together in a point and gestures forward while saying, "You're fired". ? :)
It seems to be fairly common among children to not want to have their food mix. My eldest does the same thing. But since he is almost 11, I am pushing him to get over it. I keep telling him it all mixes eventually!

Having said that, I so know about the shortcuts to just having a peaceful meal. Little Benjamin refuses to eat with a tablespoon, he wants a smaller spoon (at 7!), and in order to get him to eat that cereal in the morning, I just give in. It drives my husband crazy, but you know what, I don't have the time or the energy to argue with a 7 year old who has all the time in the world, and is quite OK with being late to school because he hasn't finished his breakfast!

Hope you are feeling better!

Heidi :)
Cherry said…
My dear Gina - I don't like to get and therefore don't usually hand out any un-asked for advice, and especially since I don't live with any children (below the age of 30), I am going to step outside of my comfort zone to say... don't let this special plate thing go on forever!

I only caution you because I was once engaged. Engaged but THANKFULLY never married to a man whom after moving in with him I realized just how serious his food touching issues were. Not a dinner out would go by without him having a fit with the server about the juice of something touching another. I seriously considered having adult versions of the sectioned plates made for him as a wedding gift, and even considered bringing these to restaurants for his food to be served to him on.

I later found other even more disturbing habits, mainly food related which I simply couldn't live with and had to end that relationship. Being someone who loves food and loves to cook... I simply couldn't deal.

I realize this man's oddities are far more umm... extreme then a 5 year olds but I just had to share my sad and yet completely amusing story with you about a tale of sectioned plates.

(Please realize I am of course kidding when I am cautioning you, but sadly... not kidding about my ex-fiance's behavior). Hope you are feeling better!
Anonymous said…
My hubby had a guy work for him like that. He was a grown man that had this same issue. He would bring those divided chinet plates everyplace to eat.
chichimama said…
Hee! We have those same plates, and the kids love them. But I only have four for the two of them. Yeah. Must get more...
Nance said…
I hope your husband lobbied strenuously for a good severance package. After all, he has a family to provide for.
Liz said…
Ah yes, my husband heard "that's not how Mom does it" more times than I can count.
Sunshine said…
If the plates you refer to are the one's from Target that I think they are, I have those for my kids, each having ONE tray in their favorite color. Those come out for meals where there are more food options than average and we need all the compartments. (Example: leftover night) so they don't really "treasure" the usuage of the trays aside from liking their fav color in it.

I've been fired more than hubby, because I'm meaner. LOL
Anvilcloud said…
Aren't kids great? Hope you are feeling better.
Laura said…
My son's "issues" concern not being able to leave the house without a perfectly made, bounce a quarter off of, bed. If we are running late we still have to allot time for the "bed making ritual" or he will blow a fit. Funny how they do that.
Patois42 said…
Does your son have a hairpiece a la The Donald?
dgm said…
Now that Daddy's fired, you'd better watch your back, sistah.
Ted said…
You know, it's one thing to be fired from a job you were hired to do. It's another thing entirely to be fired by your own kid for a job that you hired yourself to do.

All I can say to HH is: (In Bill Clinton's voice) "I feel your pain."
Mrs. G. said…
Oh, this is one to remember for the books. The whole undercutting authority subject has been discussed ad nauseum at my house, but you know sometimes I will risk hell and earth to avoid a meltdown. Hope you're feeling better.
Pendullum said…
Sometimes, I wish I could be fired...
And deal with a kids workman's compensation...
Wait a minute what would that entail?
Lying on the couch, banned from the kitchen?
I think I could handle that...
Anonymous said…
Those little details sometimes make all the difference, don't they???
Hope said…
is this one of those trick math problems I've been doing with my son????
If a plate has five sections, one on the bottom and three on the top, where the heck did the last section go, and exactly what medication is gina guzzling????
;)
Gina said…
Hope is too detail-oriented for her own good! Listen, I've gotta write a post a day, I can't be bothered with math!

But you're right, it's actually only four sections.
Anonymous said…
That was darling. I know exactly what you mean. We used to have the same problem.
karla said…
Maybe I should buy Mark some of those plates. He doesn't like his food touching either.
I'm confused. I swear I commented about the number of sections of the plates....

Oh and I am not liking it when my food touches either.

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