Tuesday, September 19, 2006

You Know You Wish You'd Thought of it First

Hubba-hubba:(cursing as he trips) What is with these laundry baskets all over the floor?

Me: Oh, those aren't just laundry baskets.

Hubba-hubba: They're not? They look like laundry baskets to me, being full of unfolded laundry and all.

Me: What you are actually looking at is a sophisticated yet inexpensive home security system.

Hubba-hubba: Ok, I'd like to hear about this "security system."

Me: Well, if a burglar were to try and enter our bedroom through the screen door, he would immediately be in trouble, because those two baskets right there form a pretty decent barrier. Then, even if he was able to get over those two without falling flat on his face, with mathematical precision I have triangulated the perfect position for the third basket, ensuring that he would step in it, thus twisting his ankle and giving us enough time to whap him over the head. Or hog-tie him, since he will already be conveniently sprawled out on the floor.

Hubba-hubba: You'll use any excuse not to fold the laundry, won't you?

Me: You'd better believe it.


Darla said...

Amen sister! I hear ya and I totally relate!

Maya's Granny said...

Many years ago, there was a particularly cruel rapist breaking in in my part of town. I needed to sleep and I needed to feel safe, so I strung tin cans to all the doors and windows so that just touching them made them clatter. I also stacked empty pots and pans over some of the windows so that opening them would cause them to fall on your head. Not very elegant, but it worked until he was caught.