The Reason for My Jungle Expulsion

So Elizabeth wants to know "your most embarassing moment while doing the wild monkey dance. Details, we want details."

Well, I know that Elizabeth isn't one to mince words, so I am going to take what she wrote at face value and respond.

I need to take a deep breath, for I am still scarred to this day. I can't believe I am actually going to share this story with the Internet.

Ok, one day I was hanging out in the jungle, just kinda minding my own business. I was up in a large, gnarled tree that had long, leafy vines hanging from it. The smell of exotic fruit mixed with damp earth filled my nostrils.

The next thing I know, some monkeys casually swung up to the branch I was occupying. It was a little crowded, but I made some room.

"Hey," they said.

"Hi!" I responded.

"Would you like to dance with us?" they queried.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, but I have to ask what might be considered a rather rude question."

"Shoot," they said good-naturedly.

"Are you wild monkeys? Because I will only dance with wild monkeys. None of this tame zoo stuff for me."

"Oh yeah, we're about as wild as they come. Why just a few minutes ago we were picking fleas out of each other's fur. You can't get much wilder than that, baby."

"Let's go for it then!" I rejoined enthusiastically.

They went and got their boom box, and started to play some heavy techno music, I am too unhip to even identify the group.

We began to dance, a little tentatively at first, but then began to get a bit more comfortable with each other.

I was doing the "Electric Baboon" when suddenly, I slipped on a banana peel and fell off the branch.

I haven't yet been able to go back, I can still hear their laughter to this day.

And I'm mad, because I could sure use their help getting rid of some of these fleas.

Comments

Melodee said…
Okay.

That was hilarious!
11:35 PM
Piece of Work said…
Ha ha ha ha ha!! LOVE IT!
1:54 PM
chichimama said…
Tee hee hee...you crack me up!
6:18 PM
gina said…
You should come dance with me and my wild monkeys. We drink lots-o-margaritas and we don't notice who falls over. We just get back up and dance.
8:03 PM
Suzanne said…
You are one wild and crazy girl.

Suzanne
5:04 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Onward

The end of the school year, finally! Did I tell you that my son went to public school this past year? Did I tell you that my daughter was in a regular Kinder classroom this year? Although it was nice to have them both in school, there were definitely things I was not so hip on, such as having to wake up at 5:20 every morning just to get everyone out the door on time.  And then after all the driving and dropping off, going to work. Such fun! I had forgotten the dreariness of having to complete mounds and mounds of homework (even though new research has shown that homework, especially for Kinder, is for shit).  Of constant deadlines and fundraisers and things I am supposed to volunteer for. My daughter had a good year, but was definitely not without its bumps. Her teacher, an older, highly experienced, practical woman with a Master's in Education, kept referring to my daughter as an "inclusion student."  It wasn't her name or just "student" but was...
Read more

Apples and Oranges

Perhaps some of you may have noticed, but the real estate market is beginning a tumble in prices that benefit us, prospective buyers. And we're going to wait. That is cold, cold comfort to those such as J and Py , who are attempting to sell their place as we speak. But, we're not going to wait too much longer, if that makes them feel any better. There is no sense trying to time the bottom of the market, and we have been putting off moving, oh, since Mr. P was born because of the huge runup in prices. So huge that at one point, we could barely afford to buy our own place from ourselves. We should be ok even if we sell at a lower price than we could have gotten say, two years ago. We have, however, a dilemma. We have narrowed our choices down to two cities. And we are stuck there. We just can't figure out which city is better, and they are oh-so-different. Let me give you a rundown. City 1 Older, smaller houses (in our price range) Larger lots Beach city Infrastructure...
Read more

D-A-N-G

As with all young children, for a very long time we parents rely on the old "spell the word out" trick for talking about things in front of them that we don't want them to know. Well, our time seems just about up. Hubba-hubba was trying to tell me about an upcoming event in which Santa would be making an appearance. As Mr. P is very much into Christmas this year, we knew that any mention of Santa would bring a long soliliquoy about how Santa is magic and how he makes the toys and how he has a list and on and on and on. And at that moment, we just didn't feel like hearing it. Don't judge people, don't judge. So, Hubba-hubba spelled out "S-A-N-T-A." "Hey, what did you just say?" said the five year old. "Nothing" lied replied his father. "I know what you said, Daddy! You said Santa!" Anybody know a place that sells semaphore flags?
Read more