The Reason for My Jungle Expulsion

So Elizabeth wants to know "your most embarassing moment while doing the wild monkey dance. Details, we want details."

Well, I know that Elizabeth isn't one to mince words, so I am going to take what she wrote at face value and respond.

I need to take a deep breath, for I am still scarred to this day. I can't believe I am actually going to share this story with the Internet.

Ok, one day I was hanging out in the jungle, just kinda minding my own business. I was up in a large, gnarled tree that had long, leafy vines hanging from it. The smell of exotic fruit mixed with damp earth filled my nostrils.

The next thing I know, some monkeys casually swung up to the branch I was occupying. It was a little crowded, but I made some room.

"Hey," they said.

"Hi!" I responded.

"Would you like to dance with us?" they queried.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, but I have to ask what might be considered a rather rude question."

"Shoot," they said good-naturedly.

"Are you wild monkeys? Because I will only dance with wild monkeys. None of this tame zoo stuff for me."

"Oh yeah, we're about as wild as they come. Why just a few minutes ago we were picking fleas out of each other's fur. You can't get much wilder than that, baby."

"Let's go for it then!" I rejoined enthusiastically.

They went and got their boom box, and started to play some heavy techno music, I am too unhip to even identify the group.

We began to dance, a little tentatively at first, but then began to get a bit more comfortable with each other.

I was doing the "Electric Baboon" when suddenly, I slipped on a banana peel and fell off the branch.

I haven't yet been able to go back, I can still hear their laughter to this day.

And I'm mad, because I could sure use their help getting rid of some of these fleas.