An Emotional Ramble

So I wanted to talk about this film that I subjected myself to the other night. I say subjected because it was very difficult for me to watch, and at one point I thought myself a masochist for not clicking off of it. It was a bit like watching footage of 9/11. You are absolutely horrified at what you are seeing, but yet you feel a strange compulsion not to turn away. A need to bear witness, almost.

I remember reading and hearing about the horrible events that took place at that school. I remember feeling awful that it ended so badly for so many people, most of them children. I also remember feeling physically ill at the thought that adults could knowingly commit acts like that upon innocent children.

This brings to mind the divide between myself and Hubba-hubba on the war in Iraq, and its broader implications.

In my mind, an administration that perjures itself to its own people for seemingly murky motives is the beginning of the end.

Hubba-hubba reminds me that the government lies to people all the time, and most likely has since its inception.

I say that it is wrong to invade a country, kill its citizens and our military personnel for oil, greed, and who knows what other reasons.

Hubba-hubba says that the radical Muslims want to see me uneducated, clothed in a burka, and viewed as property.

I say war is wrong.

Hubba-hubba says war is a necesary evil in the real world.

And even though I still hold my convictions, Hubba-hubba does make sense. I find myself wavering, because there seems to be difficulty in comparing my utopian ideals to the way things truly are, and it is difficult to argue. Should we try to aspire to greater things, or is it better to simply deal with reality? Because all of history pretty much says I am wrong and he is right, no matter what anyone's personal feelings about how it "should" be. That the harsh truth is that the world we reside in does not live by "turn the other cheek."

But when I saw those beautiful children speak about their "enemies" with such cold, almost unthinking hatred, I wept for them. For what they went through and for what they are currently dealing with. And I wept for us, that somehow we have created a world that is capable of producing people that would go to such lengths to make their point. That somehow we have driven people to be so desperate to make their point, they will commit all manner of atrocities.

How can we possibly fix it?

I think that if I were to ponder on that for too long, I would drive myself crazy.