If I Had Only Known Then What I Know Now

So today is Mr. Personality's birthday. A while ago, I posted his birth story, and if you would like to read it, feel free. So much has happened since that C-section three years ago, and I was thinking about the kinds of foolish parenting ideas that were rattling inside my head during what I like to call the PP Era (pre-Personality, or gallons of pee-pee diapers, either one works).

Let's stroll down memory lane of one highly naive parent-to-be.


I will feed my child nothing but wholesome, organic food. Well, I didn't do too badly on the organic thing when he was an infant, but over time, it has been harder and harder. I do my very best to feed him all organic fruits and vegetables, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I felt myself cringe inside when he had his first hot dog, but I just couldn't fight the powers (meaning Grandma, who shoves junk food at him as if every child's diet should consist of ice cream and chips).

I will breastfeed my child. This one certainly didn't work out, as he had severe latching problems that even a lactation consultant couldn't solve. I pumped for four months, but my milk ran out, despite every desperate attempt I made to keep it. I still feel like a failure over that one. If anyone had ever told me that I wouldn't breastfeed, I would have been highly insulted. I beat myself up over what happened to this day.

I will stay at home with my child for as long as humanly possible. I am proud of both Hubba-hubba and myself for making the necessary sacrifices to enable me to stay at home, since we both agreed that was the most important thing in raising our child. I wouldn't change what we have done for the world.

I will never be one of those mothers who run people over with their strollers. What an ignorant fool I was. That was before I realized how difficult it is to change the direction of the stroller, they don't exactly turn on a dime, especially in a large crowd situation. Watch out people, I'm coming and you'd better get out of the way!

My child will never look like a poorly dressed ragamuffin. Ok, well, I am not the one who broke this one, it is Hubba-hubba. The man simply cannot match clothes to save his life, and the times that he has dressed him (which I try to keep few and far between), he has looked a bit on the neglected side. It is to Mr. Personality's credit that he still mangages to look cute, even in an orange shirt, red shorts and black shoes with red socks. Poor Hubba-hubba thought he did good with the matching socks and shorts.

My child will never scream in a restaurant. Yeah, that failed like, the first time he ever even went out in a public restaurant. He had colic, and so we pretty much had six full months of screaming no matter what we did.

I will never allow my child to watch any television. Bwaaahaaahaaaa! Excuse me, I need some air... Bwaaahaaahaaa! Admittedly, he does watch PBS shows and The Wiggles, but he has never seen a Dr. Phil episode or any other commercial television other than the Yankee games Hubba-hubba manages to sneak in now and then. I try to keep it under two hours a day, but even when he is watching TV, he rarely watches TV. He is playing or dancing or doing something else as well.

Life as I knew it three years ago has never been the same, but it is richer and more fullfilling than I ever thought it could be. I should thank Mr. Personality for the wonderful little man that his is, to have touched me so deeply and changed me forever. It is a privilege to have him as my son.

Sniff, I think I need to go find a hankie or something...