I've Got Them by Their Toilet Paper Rolls

From the desk of Mr. Personality

So, I have judged this week's campaign entitled, "Parental Frustration via Toilet Training" to be a huge success.

I love to see their faces when I burst into the room at 630am, demanding to "go pee pee on the potty!" The look of resignation that they realize they must get out of bed NOW in order not to jepoardize the toilet learning process is simply priceless.

Even better is my insistence upon dropping toilet paper down into the bowl in order to activate the music that is my piddling (ha ha) "reward." I am sure Mom thought that the music would motivate me, but little did she know it would be for the wrong reasons! It just kills me when she tears off tiny square after tiny square of toilet paper just to appease me so as not to spoil my enthusiasm about the potty! Sometimes I make a bet with myself to see how many times she will let me drop them before she gets mad. Here I thought strewing all the unfolded laundry over their bedroom floor was fun!

If Mom thinks that picking out a sticker and putting it on a chart is gonna make me want to continue this thing, she's got another thing coming. We're talking candy people, candy.

And really, why the insistence on the pee going down into the bowl? It is ever so much more fascinating to have it go all over my leg and the seat. If I hear someone screech "point it down" one more time...

The only problem I didn't foresee on this project is what I will term "the handwashing issue." I swear I have the cleanest hands this side of Howard Hughes. Trust me, the colored Crayola soap doesn't make it any easier. But, my long-term strategy of wearing them down by mulitple visits in any given morning hour actually worked for the first time today! Mom actually forgot to have me wash after yet another unproductive session. The cracks are starting to show.

Full steam ahead to Week 2. Better start working on my PowerPoint presentation for playgroup next week. It's going to bring down the house!

Comments

carmilevy said…
My stomach's going to hurt for a while now. Thanks for the much-needed laugh.
1:25 PM
Suzanne said…
Bravo!

Paragraph 2.
So well put. :)
7:08 PM
Piece of Work said…
Ha ha ha!
8:47 PM
Cuppa said…
This brought back sooooo many memories, and made me laugh. Oh the joys of potty training. At times it seems like you will never get through it, but you will. Hang on.
5:34 AM
Cuppa said…
This brought back sooooo many memories, and made me laugh. Oh the joys of potty training. At times it seems like you will never get through it, but you will. Hang on.
5:34 AM
Anonymous said…
Gina,
This is great! It really made me laugh!
Anel
9:30 AM
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