Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Not So Lucky George

I have to say that I am a little bit happy that the big Hollywood Awards season does not seem to be working out due to the writer's strike.

Why Gina, you may ask, is that?

Is it because you are a huge supporter of unions and believe in the cause? Because the little guy should triumph over the big bad business moguls? Because the movies this year were really crappy? Or maybe you just aren't that big a fan of awards shows in general?

No, my friends. The answer is none of those.



The answer is HER

That bitch done stole my George. And the worst part is that she used to be some sort of stripper/cocktail waitress whom George has elevated into a stratosphere to which she simply does not belong. She went from having dudes ogling her boobs and ordering another round of Goldschlagers to George frickin' Clooney. How the hell did she do that?

I mean really, if that had been ME on the motorcycle that George crashed (she's bad luck George, you never crashed before SHE came on the scene) I would have never broken my damn leg. I would simply have leaped off and rolled, with alacrity and amazing grace. I never would have had the bad taste to actually get injured.

So a tiny (ok not so tiny) part of me is thrilled to not have to see her accompany him to all the awards ceremonies.

George, I ask you, have there ever been any awards ceremonies that were cancelled before you started dating her? The answer kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it George? I know honey, it's hard to hear the truth.

Get out! Get out before she brings down all of Hollywood, with Lake Como to follow shortly thereafter! Don't say you weren't warned!

17 comments:

Family Adventure said...

I second everything you said here, but

[cue scary laughter and echo effects]

GEORGE IS MINE. MINE I TELL YOU!

And it does break my heart a teeny tiny bit that he won't be able to send me secret signals through the TV on the red carpet of the Golden Globes. Just like he *always* does...

Heidi

Kelley said...

Yeah, she is the she devil. Lets organise a good ol' fashioned stoning.

Oooh that would be fun!

Oh and by the way... WHO is she?

Liz said...

I imagine you doing a backwards roll off that bike, taking the helmet off and flipping your hair back ala Jaclyn Smith in the opening of Charlie's Angels. Then saying "there's only one thing to do and that's get back up on that bad boy...Come on BAD BOY!"

See, clearly not everyone can be a writer.

Steph said...

Hehehe :)

Beenzzz said...

HA! You crack me up. :) Don't worry Gina, he'll dump her soon and move on. Stars a fickle that way.

Mrs. G. said...

I'm so with you and I feel your pain. Just for you, I will now refer to her as Skank.

Autumn's Mom said...

You are so cute! George eh? I'm really bummed I won't be sitting at home this year picking apart everything they are wearing on the red carpet and making fun of Ryan Douchecrest.

Victoria said...

Hee hee - you can have George. I will miss the opportunity to see Matthew Fox.

Mmm. Foxy.

Laura said...

Hehehehehehe...Hahahahah...I needed to smile today, Gina. Thanks.

Mommy dearest said...

Please tell me how you REALLY feel :) Just kidding.

ha ha ha ha

WordsRock said...

You makes some good points. :)

Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

I agree with one of your commentors. I'm sure he'll dump her soon..and then he'll be all yours!!! hee hee

Ms. Beaverhausen said...

Jebus! Anybody can have a cocktail waitress. You'd think he'd aim higher than that.

Atasha said...

You're a riot :)

Nance said...

She looks like Diane Lane. But that still does not make it okay.

I'm just sayin'.

Ana said...

hehehehe! what woman doesn't love em a little george!

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