Have you ever experienced a Tectonic shift in your thought process? Where you receive a certain bit of information that gives you a sucker punch in the gut and leaves you wheezing on the floor?
Well, I kind of got one of those last night, and boy did that sucker punch come out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting it, wasn't looking for it, and WHAM, there is Gina on the floor wondering what the hell hit her.
One of the worst parts about it is that the person who had this bit of information had posession of it for over a month. I'm not looking to get all high-school and emotional, but this person should have told me the second they next saw me, nay, they had an obligation to tell me. If that person had told me, many things would not have happened if that info had been shared.
Needless to say, I am a bit upset with this person right now, as well as the other people involved, who unfortunately, I pretty much have to deal with constantly, as they are family.
But back to the Tectonic shift- it is so weird how things that I thought were a certain way- are not. Then you look back and start examining every little thing and going, oooh, now I know what was going on there. Even if that may or may not be true. You've gotta love a pure state of paranoia. All I can say is that right now I feel very alone and decidedly very un-Christmasy right now.
But, I am sure I will get over it eventually. You've got to move on, can't stay focused on the past, blah blah blah. But, my memory is long and the pessimist in me will be in full swing for a while.