Just Another Day

I thought to myself, self, perhaps you should look online after being so sorely disappointed by the lack of sleeves that permeate the brick-and-mortar stores. So, I perused many a website, looking for something simple, slightly sophisticated, yet easy on the wallet. Not an easy feat, my friends. I found lots of cheap, cruddy looking dresses and lots of gorgeous dresses that were too damn expensive. When I shop for clothes online, which I rarely do, I tend towards the more expensive just because I have a bit more faith in the design, which is so very hard to tell from a picture. Then, I found this: Now looking at that picture, you would think, self, what can possibly go wrong here? It is black, that most flattering of colors. It is a faux-wrap, which is not only easy to wear, it is quite the fashion rage right now. It is a matte-jersey, which I knew could be a bit unforgiving of ahem, bulges, but I thought that the cut of the dress was fluid enough that it would be ok. Liz Claibor...

Earlier last week, I was sitting on the couch watching television, and I suddenly felt a strange sensation on my hand. I looked down and let out a loud screech. It was a mosquito, busily preparing to suck my blood. This was unusual, because normally I never get bit by one, it is always Hubba-hubba they are attracted to. I managed to swat it off, but not kill it. I knew it was still hanging around, and that it was still hungry. So I took a blanket and covered everything but my head. A short time later, Hubba-hubba walked out of our bedroom where he had beeen studying. I informed him there was a mosquito in the house and he casually asked me if I was referring to the one that was sitting on the wall right behind me. That's right, thwarted in its first attempt, it was simply waiting me out. Eventually, it must have thought, this chick is gonna have to go the bathroom or something, and when she does, I will be there. Hubba-hubba, being the bug squasher around here, dispatched h...

*If you are reading this on Bitacle, you are reading stolen content.* I have known about NaBloPoMo for quite a while now. Yet, for some reason, I have not signed up for it. Part of it is because I can't figure out exactly how . But I like to consider myself fairly intelligent, so I'm thinking that if I really wanted to, somehow I would find out what to do. Or at least ask someone who is already registered how they did it. I don't know why I have this stubborn streak when it comes to group participation things and blogging. There are lots of people who participate in the Crazy/Hip Blog Mamas prompts, and many others who do Thursday Thirteens and Friday Cat Bloggings. Other than the occasional meme, I haven't done any of those. Part of it is because I am just ornery like that. I delude myself into thinking I don't need the fresh post ideas, and then wind up blogging about the top of my refrigerator. Then another aspect is that I enjoy resisting peer pressure. If...

There is a measure on our November ballot that will supposedly ensure extra money for vocational school, science classes, and the like. I say supposedly because you never know exactly where the money is going on with these things, but that is what this measure purports. I am all for vocational school because I don't think that everyone is destined to go to college. I can hear the collective gasp from the idealists at this very moment. No, they will say, every child has the potential to be an A student and attend Harvard, if only given the right circumstances. Hubba-hubba and I have had the discussion many times that all children are capable of being A students. I disagree, while he feels everyone has the potential. And therein lies the rub. Let's just say for the sake of argument that all children are raised in a home where the parents care about their education and push them to acheive. Let's just say for the sake of same argument that all children are given a qualit...

I will tell you later about the titanic shift in our plans for our fifth anniversary, which will happen the first weekend in November. What you need to know is that I was suddenly in need of a cocktail dress. Um, hello, I haven't worn a nice dress to an occasion other than a wedding in over five years. The dress that I usually wear to weddings, thanks to the hypothyroid weight gain, doesn't really fit anymore. I mean, I can get it over my head, but it is a bit too snug for my comfort. And they don't make bodyshapers with enough spandex to help me out. It would need to contain some sort of metal bands to keep everything in, and I'm pretty sure those could be deemed illegal. You know, what with the high probability of those metal bands snapping as I attempt to sit my butt in a chair and becoming dangerous shrapnel. So yesterday night found me at Nordstrom's. I had been online to check out some of their stock, and was fairly confident going in that I could find s...

Dear Crabby Old Bakery Lady, How exactly do you maintain your crabbiness in a bakery? I look around and see all sorts of wonderful, yummy tasting things. I can just close my eyes and smell the vanilla, sugar and bread. How could you not be infected with the pleasure that working in close proximity with those items must bring? I also see people laughing and happy as they pick up their anniversary and birthday cakes, or their cupcakes and bear claws. Laughing and happy until you start with that particular brand of magic that is truly only yours. But there you stand, an unmovable bastion of crankiness amongst the smiles, which disappear under your wilting glare. Your pursed lips and squinty, flinty eyes behind your glasses betray your complete and utter lack of mirth. I get it. Or at least I did when I cracked a joke and the look of contempt in your eyes mentally smote me and I just decided right then and there that you weren't going to play and I wasn't even going to try an...

Amusing or Tacky? These are "Bible Mints" and I really, really want to know what you think!