Assault

I like to play Words with Friends on my phone.  It keeps my mind busy, and I prefer it to browsing the web on my phone or playing something as stupefying as Candy Crush.

I have several games running at once, mostly with people I've been playing with for a while.  Hi Nance! Nance usually kicks my arse.

 Once in a while, though, I will press the "Random Opponent" button and match up with an unknown.  I've come across some fairly weird people.  One of them berated me for not playing "faster" and making (I am assuming it was a him, based on his user name) him wait for two whole days.  He then insulted me and resigned.    I asked for a rematch, and then told him that I was sorry I had made him wait, but as my phone had broken and needed to be repaired,  his priorities were not at the top of my list.  Well, I said it better than that, but I know I made him feel like the jerk he truly was.  Then I resigned, because I always have to have the last word.

Anyway, the other day I went for a new random opponent, and it started off as a regular game.  Two words into the game, I saw that my opponent had "texted" me.  I inwardly groaned.  Maybe outwardly, too.  Experience had shown me that not much good came from people texting you early in the game.

Sure enough, I looked to find the oh-so-eloquent, "ur woman or man."

I replied, "What does it matter?" and resigned.

That didn't keep my new friend from replying with a vulgarism that made me feel attacked.  Sure, this person was trying to stupidly find someone for sexytimes on Words with Friends, but I couldn't believe that I actually had to encounter that in my life.  I felt assaulted, to be honest.  I wanted to write back, "This isn't Tinder, asshole" but I refrained.

But that is what females encounter all the time.  I've been verbally assaulted before, usually to my face by some guy thinking that making a vulgar comment about my body will just make me want to fall into bed with him (this is when I was much younger, mind you).  And so it had been a long time since I felt those feelings of being violated and reduced to a body part.

I didn't like it then, and I sure as hell don't like it now.

It will probably be a while until I hit the "Random Opponent" button, I'm thinking.


Comments

J said…
Oh jeez, I hate that. I do so remember the days of stupid guys thinking it was hot to yell out their car window or something. Or a guy walking on the street, asking for my phone number. If I wouldn't give it to him, he's say, "Why not? Do you think you're too good for me?" What the hell is with this type of guy, anyway. They ruin it for nice guys. Oh, and then if you STILL don't give your number, they call you bitch and kind of scare you.

Then the nice guys wonder why women give them fake numbers like assholes.
5:29 PM
Nance said…
Hi! You forget how many times you smacked me down before I got used to how you played. It's all about learning the opponent's strategies.

I've not invited a random opponent to play any games with me. But I completely understand what you are describing here. It's disappointing that any overture--no matter how innocuous--can become sad. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to assume Tunnel Vision at the grocery store! I mean, come on. I'm 55, it's the grocery store. Can we have some dignity? Not everything is a hookup venue.
6:24 AM
Ted said…
Maybe it's a good idea to play Words with Friends with actual friends. Strangers can be creepy. Years ago, I belonged to a Rush discussion group, and there was one guy who asked if I wanted free tickets to their show in Las Vegas (he couldn't go). He traveled from Texas to California to attend a Rush show and wanted to meet up to deliver the tickets and chit chat. The guy was a creeper with a really vulgar vocabulary. I was with my brother and his friend when we met for dinner, and my brother's friend kept saying: "This guy may be from Texas, but he's no Texan. I'm from Texas, and no one I know talks like that in public -- especially in front of little kids." Now, there was never any danger that things would go sideways since it was basically three to one, but the guy would randomly text or call me on my cell for a few weeks after that encounter. It was uncomfortable, but I eventually blocked his number and he went away.

I got the free tickets and went to the show in Las Vegas, though!
2:37 PM
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