Thursday, November 07, 2013

He Married Up, For Sure

Despite being a wonderful father in all other respects, my husband has a blind spot when it comes to dressing my daughter and getting her ready to go somewhere.  He claims that it is difficult.  He claims that he has no idea how to put her hair in a simple ponytail.  And, if recent events are any indication, he seems to think that pants are up for debate.

As for picking an outfit, I have two main drawers for her clothing.  One has shirts, and the other, shockingly, has bottoms.  Many of them are coordinating outfits, but in a pinch, is it really that hard to look at two items of clothing and see if they match in coloring?  The way he talks about it, it is indeed rocket science to pick out matching and weather-appropriate clothing.

He also refuses to attempt to comb her hair (which is fine and long) and make any attempt at putting it into even the simplest of styles.  My God man, it is 2013, there are entire websites created to teach people how to do hair!  You could watch hours and hours of video in order to prep yourself.  I won't lie, it takes some practice to get it right, but you HAVE TO START practicing in order to get anywhere.

Our son attends an acting class on Saturdays, and recently I was the one who took him.  It is somewhat far away, and there isn't really any point to coming home after dropping him off, you would just be basically turning around and leaving again to pick him up.

So, I am sitting in the parking lot, reading a book (HEAVEN) and I get a text that Hubba-hubba is currently at the library with our daughter.  Immediately, my mind jumps to what she was wearing when I left the house, which was a sort of babydoll tank top.  It is a shirt, not a dress, and technically does not completely cover her bum.  Especially if she moves.  Which she does. A lot.

I don't remember the exact wording of my text, but it went something like "OH GOD, PLEASE TELL ME YOU PUT SHORTS ON HER BEFORE YOU LEFT THE HOUSE."

The reply was something like, "Uh, no."

Fierce cursing began emanating from my mouth, and it was a good thing I was ten miles or so away from home.

I told him that it was completely inappropriate for her to be wearing that shirt as what he thought was a dress, and how in the world could he think of taking her out of the house when the world could so very clearly see her behind?

In short, I was patronizingly told that I was "stressing about the little things" and needed to chill out.

It turns out that I did not, as instructed, chill out, and promptly yelled at him when I got home.   

I was venting my frustration to a dear friend of mine, and she very much jokingly said, "You know you've married down when pants are considered optional."

I think that sums it up nicely, does it not? I DARE someone to defend him.


J at said...

Meh, I think I'd pick my battles, and a little kid in too short of a dress/top probably wouldn't be worth it to me. I'd just say she was copying Shirley Temple. Did you ever watch her old movies? The dresses were VERY short, and you saw her panties pretty often.

Awesome Mom said...

I am so with you on this one. He is mildly better at picking out outfits because pretty much all we have are neutral bottoms but her hair is a sticking point for us too. Lily has very curly hair and it has to be wet down and combed every single morning or it will get nasty mats in it. I do not want my toddler getting dreads. He has attempted pigtails and he will not even make sure the hair ties are tight so they fall out. I am like why even bother if you aren't going to do that basic step. If I die I am going to have to haunt him to make sure my girl looks presentable.

Anvilcloud said...

Real men don't do female hair. It's a rule.

Nance said...

Sigh. I don't know how this works. We had two boys. But I will say, that in this day and age, how does anyone not know what a properly dressed kid looks like? And has he not ever seen her before?

Seana said...

How old is she now? If she is less than 4.5 then I think he gets a pass. I mean, you wouldn't take her to a dinner party or other event where your friends would be gathered, but for a trip to the library, I think it's probably ok.