Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Secret to a Successful Marriage

"Never share a bathroom."

Spoken like a true rich person, that.

Supposedly this one was attributed to one of the Real Housewives of Where-the-hell-ever, who are all rich.  Or at least doing a sufficient job of pretending to be rich for the cameras. 

At first I pshawed like an old grandmother.  Ha! How could you NOT share a bathroom at some point with your spouse?  Even in the swankiest hotel room I have graced only has one toilet.  A damn fancy one, but one nonetheless.  But maybe the really rich people have access to hotel rooms beyond my ken.

I am one of those people who prefer to keep the door closed whilst doing whatever it is I need to do in there. My motto is that if Hubba-hubba can't see it, then it never happened.

Then I got to thinking about it, and you know what, this woman might have a point.

I mean, not to get too TMI, but there is a certain agony of having to wait for someone else to finish using the bathroom when you need to urgently go yourself, is there not?

And let us not speak of directly following someone who made the unfortunate (for both people, as it turns out) decision to eat the double beef burrito with cheese.

And also let us not complain even more about how it seems like an impossible task for men to actually direct the pee-pee INSIDE of the toilet instead of other various places.

I have always had two available bathrooms when living with Hubba-hubba, so I have tried to avoid any unpleasantness as much as possible.

But I still refuse to clean the toilets, because between Hubba-hubba and Mr. P, let us just say that I am certainly not the one who is placing pee on the sides of the toilet and god knows where else.  I am resentful like that.

So yeah, there is definitely something that would be kind of great about having completely separate bathrooms. 

Throw in a maid to clean them both, and I think you might actually have a pretty successful recipe right there.


Awesome Mom said...

There is nothing worse than coming in after my husband has taken a dump and being forced to use said bathroom because the only other alternative is the one upstairs which is used by three boys with indifferent aim.

Anvilcloud said...

Life is full of trials and tribs.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I'm just not sure what to say about this post, except that it made me laugh. :)

Nance said...

Sigh. I've never understood how any woman could Take Care Of Business while her husband was In The Room. Or vice versa. It's unseemly.

Too much familiarity.

As to the cleaning issue, I've often wished I could just hose it all down and let it drip dry. After raising two sons, it just seemed so much easier and better.

Ted said...

The Flinstones had separate beds..I wonder if they had separate toilets? Might not want to go in there after Fred...