Friday, April 05, 2013

The Dastardly Easter Plot

Scene: Miss P's preschool, staff sitting around table

Teacher: So, how do you think we should punish the parents for Easter this year?

Aide 1: (raising hand) Oh, I know, I know!  Let's give them something breakable as a craft!

Aide 2: (laughing) Yeah, let's give them something made out of glass! How about DIY "snowglobes?"

Teacher: Glass for special needs kids?  What a great idea! I wish I'd thought of that.

Aide 1: How about we even make it all slippery, coated with the baby oil we need for the inside!  We won't wipe it off or anything, or even make sure the lid is closed all the way!

Teacher: (cackling) And to top it off, we won't even TELL them their preschooler has a breakable item in their backpack! They'll never know what hit them!

Aide 2: You, madam, are a genius.

Cut to Gina's house

Gina: Oh honey, why don't you show me the eggs you got during your egg hunt at school today?

Miss P: I open backpack! I open backpack!

Gina: (thinking, OK, it's just plastic eggs) All right, Miss P open her backpack.

Miss P: (pulling out large glass baby food jar filled with mineral oil and glitter) Look!

Gina: (panicking) OH MY GOD IS THAT...

LOUD CRASH ONTO MARBLE FLOOR

Cut to Gina spending at least a half hour cleaning broken glass, glitter, and f'ing baby oil off the floor, which is a total bitch.  Happy Easter to me!

7 comments:

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Crap. That totally sucks. Perhaps someone should inform them of the problem of this particular craft.

Anvilcloud said...

lol

marvel said...

Baking soda and detergent.

I remain amazed at the number of crafts that come home from pre-school. I could never be a pre-school teacher. I lack the unending optimism required to hand that much glue to that many 3-year-olds.

Nance said...

And you just know this is exactly how it went.

So evil.

Awesome Mom said...

Wow! Now I am glad that I have been to lazy to attempt to make homemade snow globes.

Ted said...

Happy Easter, indeed! Nothing like cleaning broken glass and baby oil off the floor to bring that special feeling of red hot anger.

Liz said...

Happy Spring!