Monday, August 06, 2012

This is What I'm Up Against

When I told my family that Hubba-hubba and I had made the decision to pull Mr. P out of school and begin homeschooling, the silence was profound.

Well, I take that back.  My sister, the teacher, told me in no uncertain terms that I was making a huge mistake and that she was not going to help me in any way, shape, or form with it.  If I had problems, I was to keep them to myself, because she didn't want to hear them.

So yeah, thanks for that.

Anyway, they have given me pretty much zero support, all the while talking about me behind my back and saying I bit off more than I could chew, and how they were so worried about me not having any time to myself.

Well, instead of acting on their so-called "concerns" and asking if there was anything they could do to help me, they have done nothing.  My sister is unwilling to babysit my daughter because, horror, there would be diapers to change.  My mom and dad babysit my kids maybe four times a year, even though they live less than 45 minutes away.

Anyhoo, I've always known that they haven't agreed with my choice, but yesterday my mom really took me down Flabbergast Lane.  Please tell me if I'm the only one.

We were having a phone conversation and out of the blue she asked me if I had considered sending Mr. P to school this upcoming year.  Knowing damn well that I hadn't, I told her that no, I hadn't.  Oh, she breezily replied, I was thinking that your sister had mentioned that there was a great 4th grade GATE teacher at her school, and what would you think about Mr. P living at your sister's during the week and going to her school?


You mean to say that I am doing such a shitty job (which, by the way, I am not) that I should send my son to live with someone else so that they can attend school for a supposedly good teacher?  Well, let's just engage in some insanity and say that I did that.  Then what would happen in 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grades?  AND ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SAYING MY SON SHOULD GO LIVE WITH HIS AUNT FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THAT YOU HATE THE FACT I AM HOMESCHOOLING?

Some days it's all I can do to not strangle her.  I don't know my sister's role in all this, but it isn't much better than my mom's.

Sorry, but I just had to get that off my chest.


Awesome Mom said...

((hugs)) Family can be a bunch of assholes sometimes. You are doing what is right for your son and your family, stand firm in that knowledge.

J at said...

I'm glad to see you here. :)

You know, family can be very frustrating. Perhaps your sister feels that your decision is a criticism of her, as a public school teacher?

I think that they should support you, trust in you to do what is best and what is right for your child. That is what family is for. My mother home schooled us for a year, and it didn't work out very well (for very specific reasons that have nothing to do with your situation, such as that my mom was working 2 jobs at the time as a single parent...hard to home school 2 kids while also doing that). And yet, I did some of my best work that year, actually. Not much guidance, lots of expectations. A 3rd grader can indeed rise to the occasion.

Not saying this is your story, or your sons. Just that I have thoughts on the matter, and I wish that you had the support of your family in this decision. If we were closer, I'd babysit for you once in awhile, so you and Hubba Hubba could have a date night.

Anvilcloud said...

We have just returned from visiting extended family. I swear, we are the only sane people left in the universe.

Sue said...

Well, for what it's worth, HUGE support from here... home educating is the best thing we ever did for our sons. They're adults now, and both agree wholeheartedly. While some schools might be good for some children, homeschooling for the child's sake, done in the way that best suits the child's learning style and interests has got to be the best for just about anyone. Stay strong. Some of my relatives were very dubious when we started, but within a couple of years saw the benefits and gave wholehearted support.

Anonymous said...

Oh, hugs. Family can be rough. Only you can know what is right for your immediate family unit. I have found that my family, while acting out of love, still has a hard time wrapping their minds around some of our choices because it is just not within their world view or experiences. Its hard to live through the constant comments though. It took them a few years to stop commenting to my face :-), hopefully yours will come to a similar place sooner...

Kelley @ magneto bold too said...

My mother is horrendous, but I am pretty sure that yours wins the prize.

I am so sorry my lovely :(