Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Toilet Paper Crisis on Aisle Three!

Let's just say that while I am a friendly mom (I'm one of the room moms after all!) I'm just not on a first name basis with all the parents of Mr. P's class.

One set of parents in particular I've never exchanged more than a "good morning" nod with. Partly it's because usually the dad is the one doing the dropping off, and I sort of make it a policy not to be over-friendly with dads. It's just sheer paranoia on my part. Not because I'm so drop-dead gorgeous or anything, I just think it's bad form. Could be just me.


There is a drugstore located conveniently close to the school, and Hubba-hubba had informed me that we needed toilet paper. I don't usually buy my toilet paper at a drugstore, but I didn't need anything at Costco or Target, and I wasn't going to traipse all the way over to those stores just for some damn toilet paper. You are feeling me, I'm sure.

So I get out of the car and I notice the dad I just referred to up there walking into the store with his younger son. How funny, I thought, that we both had the same idea of going to the store right after school. It IS conveniently located, after all.

I have to sort of find my way to the toilet paper aisle, as I'd never bought any there before. And out of the corner of my eye, I notice Classmate Dad headed in a similar direction.

Then I thought to myself, "I can't do it! I can't just casually stroll up to the toilet paper with him right there. I mean, then when he looks at me in the future, all he will think of is that I need to wipe my ass."

Turns out that he was going to the pharmacy, and of course, the toilet paper wall is in direct view from there.


So what did I do? Did I bravely walk up right next to where he was standing and buy the cheapest toilet paper, which I would normally do?

In a word, no.

I quickly figured that I could go off to one side and he wouldn't really be able to see me. And what was on that side? Why, Cottonelle, at almost double the price and less rolls to boot.

It was save money versus somebody having a mental image of me going to the bathroom every time they see me.

It didn't take me all that long to decide.

Money well spent, says I.


Anvilcloud said...


Patois said...

A friendly mom with a cottony-soft behind.

Awesome Mom said...

Lol!!! I like your new look for your blog.

Steph said...

That's hilarious! Nice new design too, BTW.

Hope said...

So I take it buying condoms somewhere that doesn't have self checkouts would be entirely out of the question.

Liz said...

Now every time you see him, you'll think about how you have to wipe your own ass!

Eli's Lids said...

HA!! My hubby and I have the whole no opposite sex uncomfortableness too. I always just think it is lame... why even go there when our marriage is so important.

... Paige said...

My goodness I would so do that too.

Funny how folks think and presume they are alone on some thoughts but it turns out we are just one big quirky family-human beings

Cherry said...

I'm a toilet paper snob and I tend to buy the pricier kind, regardless of who's line of sight I'm in.

You can come wipe your arse with my soft,lint-free paper anytime!

Just Spotted said...

this was awesome. i'd do the same thing... and i totally hear you on the talking to dads thing. at least you weren't there to buy some other, more feminine products!

xoxo, K