Xeroxophobia

I help out Mr. P's teacher every week. I come to the classroom on Tuesdays and she has tasks for me. Mostly they have been cutting things out, or stapling things. That sort of stuff I can do.

But yesterday she took me to the school copy machine. She explained that she wanted X number of copies of this paper, and X number of that paper, totalling well over a thousand copies.

I nodded and smiled as she went through her directions, and I waved at her as she went back to the classroom.

And then I panicked.

You see, I have a mild phobia when it comes to copy machines.

In fact, I am scared of them.

I had a bad experience once with a copy machine many, many years ago and it continues to haunt me. At my old job, I learned to master the copy machine there, but I mostly told it what to do from my computer.

But this was a hands-on type of programming and my hands were getting sweaty and my pulse was quickening. How am I going to explain to the teacher that I don't "do" copy machines?

So I did what any self-respecting coward would do and asked for help from someone else in the library.

That way, if something bad happened and a bunch of paper was wasted, I could blame her.

Because I'm all about redirecting the blame. Just ask my husband.

Comments

Anvilcloud said…
Our machine at school was forever jamming, so we all got pretty adept at solving the little problems.
1:41 AM
dgm said…
Please tell me your bad experience with a copy machine didn't involve the office Christmas party and someone's bare butt.
6:04 AM
Steph said…
I am quite often given copying tasks by M's teacher, and almost every time I have to ask one of the other moms in the volunteer room for some sort of help. I think it's going to take me her entire elementary career to "master" it. :)
6:16 AM
Maternal Mirth said…
Ok, you can't NOT tell us what happened in your copying past!!!!

Do. Tell.
8:03 AM
Awesome Mom said…
I have a copier phobia too, big time. I am always paranoid that I will break it or do something wrong. I am not looking forward to helping out in the classroom.
8:16 AM
Hope said…
You did the right thing Gina... the darn things are always just a little different, with their own personalities.
I always go to Staples to do my big print jobs, go to the self serve copiers which are alot cheaper, then ask the counter staff for help. They end up doing all the copying, I end up with self serve prices.
;)
11:51 AM
Heidi said…
I end up wasting at least a tree throughout the year at work, because it takes me so long to get the copies right.
4:45 PM
Cherry said…
I used to be good with the copier, back when I needed to use one. Now the name of the game is less paper, so when I need to use one I stand there, pushing buttons and I usually just take what I get instead of what I wanted.
7:46 PM
Ted said…
At least you only have a phobia when it comes to copy machines. There were people at my old/new place of employment who would fly into a rage when the copy machine wouldn't do what they wanted it to do.
1:37 PM
dr sardonicus said…
Perhaps some counseling would help, Gina...
6:43 PM
Patois42 said…
I had the exact same thought as dgm. I have got to get my head out of the gutter. (Not to imply that dgm's head is in the gutter. I don't even know dgm. But I think I'd better visit dgm's blog right now just to make nice. Assuming dgm has a blog. I'm leaving now.)
9:43 PM
Gina said…
Oh you guys...

Do you not know me well enough by now to know that I would NEVER get drunk and copy a picture of my ass?

No, the truth is much more mundane. I had a temp job at USC one year and I had a huge deadline (not created by me but by one of my bosses who handed the task to me ten minutes before it was due) to meet for an important meeting, and it was all about collating properly and all this stuff. Well, I messed up because I was nervous about making all those copies in time and I got in trouble for being late.

That is all.

Doesn't take much to scar me permanently, does it?
4:08 PM
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