I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

So yesterday I had to go to Target.

No big deal.

I'm wearing the pants and undergarments that I have been wearing with no problem all day.

When suddenly, it hits.

The wedgie.

Crap.

It started creeping up when I got the cart, and progressed all the way up as I was circling the dollar bins.

I thought to myself, oh god, everyone can see my wedgie. My sweatshirt was the kind that shows every tiny irregularity, and I was blushing, thinking everyone is pointing at my ass and laughing.

Panicked, I try to think of where I can go to pull the damn underwear out. Because not only did it look bad (I'm guessing) it was really uncomfortable. I go to the section where they have the underwear (how fitting, I know) for little kids, which hang on these rather tall racks. I figure this is my best chance to conceal my heinous actions.

I dart glances down either side of the open aisle. No one.

Ahhh, relief.

Then, I look up.

A dark, shiny half circle is attached to the ceiling, not far above from where I was standing.

The security camera.

Well boys, I hope you enjoyed the show. I just hope you never remember what I look like.

Comments

Awesome Mom said…
I used to work at Target and will let you in on a little secret: the majority of those little black camera spots are empty and just for show. They rotate the cameras around the store.
10:47 PM
Liz said…
Just once I'd like to sit there and watch the security cameras from the other side. I bet they see some crazy stuff. I'm sure you were tame by comparison.
4:31 AM
captain corky said…
LOL! It could have been worse though... Just imagine if you were wearing a red shirt as well.
5:59 AM
Anvilcloud said…
I should be able to think of something clever to say about wiseCRACKS or something, but it's just not there for me today.
6:21 AM
Autumn's Mom said…
HAHAHA Normally when that happens to me (and it does happen) I see the camera and laugh. maybe give them a little wave. Disappointed to know now, that maybe there was no film in any of the camera's I thought were looking. Is that weird?
8:14 AM
Cherry said…
I wonder if guys look around before they adjust themselves? I'm guessing no.

BTW - I was at work the other day and total wedgey action was going on and I had no time to get to the bathroom to fix it, so to my cube I went and just as I was taking care of that.... around the corner walked my boss. NICE!
8:35 AM
J said…
That, my friends, is why I wear a thong. Because all other underwear ends up being up my ass anyway, so I would prefer to have it be a tiny bit of fabric than the whole back end. I never thought I'd get used to it, but I quickly did, and never looked back. ;)
10:57 AM
dgm said…
I'll be looking for that one on YouTube.
11:33 AM
Maternal Mirth said…
Eh ... I don't care who's looking. If men can adjust their "selves", I can pull my underwear into a more comfortable position.
1:52 PM
Nance said…
Sigh. I so hear you. The other day, I mistakenly grabbed my "third string underwear" from my drawer in a hurry. I had to contend with substandard unmentionables all day at work. I couldn't wait till I got home.

And there was NO EFFIN' WAY this girl was going to remedy an undie issue in front of a bunch of sophomores.
6:24 PM
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