Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

So yesterday I had to go to Target.

No big deal.

I'm wearing the pants and undergarments that I have been wearing with no problem all day.

When suddenly, it hits.

The wedgie.

Crap.

It started creeping up when I got the cart, and progressed all the way up as I was circling the dollar bins.

I thought to myself, oh god, everyone can see my wedgie. My sweatshirt was the kind that shows every tiny irregularity, and I was blushing, thinking everyone is pointing at my ass and laughing.

Panicked, I try to think of where I can go to pull the damn underwear out. Because not only did it look bad (I'm guessing) it was really uncomfortable. I go to the section where they have the underwear (how fitting, I know) for little kids, which hang on these rather tall racks. I figure this is my best chance to conceal my heinous actions.

I dart glances down either side of the open aisle. No one.

Ahhh, relief.

Then, I look up.

A dark, shiny half circle is attached to the ceiling, not far above from where I was standing.

The security camera.

Well boys, I hope you enjoyed the show. I just hope you never remember what I look like.

10 comments:

Awesome Mom said...

I used to work at Target and will let you in on a little secret: the majority of those little black camera spots are empty and just for show. They rotate the cameras around the store.

Liz said...

Just once I'd like to sit there and watch the security cameras from the other side. I bet they see some crazy stuff. I'm sure you were tame by comparison.

captain corky said...

LOL! It could have been worse though... Just imagine if you were wearing a red shirt as well.

Anvilcloud said...

I should be able to think of something clever to say about wiseCRACKS or something, but it's just not there for me today.

Autumn's Mom said...

HAHAHA Normally when that happens to me (and it does happen) I see the camera and laugh. maybe give them a little wave. Disappointed to know now, that maybe there was no film in any of the camera's I thought were looking. Is that weird?

Cherry said...

I wonder if guys look around before they adjust themselves? I'm guessing no.

BTW - I was at work the other day and total wedgey action was going on and I had no time to get to the bathroom to fix it, so to my cube I went and just as I was taking care of that.... around the corner walked my boss. NICE!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

That, my friends, is why I wear a thong. Because all other underwear ends up being up my ass anyway, so I would prefer to have it be a tiny bit of fabric than the whole back end. I never thought I'd get used to it, but I quickly did, and never looked back. ;)

dgm said...

I'll be looking for that one on YouTube.

Maternal Mirth said...

Eh ... I don't care who's looking. If men can adjust their "selves", I can pull my underwear into a more comfortable position.

Nance said...

Sigh. I so hear you. The other day, I mistakenly grabbed my "third string underwear" from my drawer in a hurry. I had to contend with substandard unmentionables all day at work. I couldn't wait till I got home.

And there was NO EFFIN' WAY this girl was going to remedy an undie issue in front of a bunch of sophomores.