Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Sleep Hitting

If I had known how difficult it was to sleep (I mean really sleep) with someone, I would have just forgone the Cal King and gotten two double beds with a nightstand and lamp in the middle. But no, nobody tells you that being sleep compatible is an important part of marrriage. I suspect because not many people are, and it's a dirty little secret.

Because seriously? I cannot sleep (again, head.out.of.gutter) with my own husband.

The other day I was minding my own freaking business, fast asleep at some ungodly single digit hour and people, I was smacked!

Not exactly used to getting hit in the stomach while fast asleep, I made some sort of noise, which I would expect exactly 99.9% of the rest of the population would do as well. Please tell me that you wouldn't just roll over?

Apparently, my husband took my cry of dismay over being sucker punched as some sort of disapproval of him and left to go sleep on the couch. He may have been right, come to think of it.

But the next morning, Gina was the bad guy. Gina kicked him out of bed. He was just trying to see if I was there, and it was a loving gesture that I twisted around into something it wasn't.

His love of shopping only barely makes up for crap like that, I'm telling you.

20 comments:

Awesome Mom said...

I really think that the old tv shows had the right idea. You don't know how envious I am of my parents (and inlaws) who both have the room now to sleep apart in different rooms. My husband flipping groans in his sleep. I have wanted to punch him in the face some nights. Our couches are horrible which is the only thing that keeps me in my bed at night.

Margaret said...

Mark goes at least 1 night a week to the guest room. HE and i are not sleep compatible.

I like to go to sleep with the tv. Him - No. I can sleep thru the cat jumping on the bed...him not so much. He has to have earplugs, a sound machine and a heavy comforter to sleep in. Me - not at all. I can sleep through him accidentially hitting me, touching me, etc. He can't.

Its wierd b/c I grew up watching all those shows wiht the couples going to sleep together, all snuggly and happy and nope.

Michelle said...

Ha. I can't really say anything, in our house, I'm the weird sleeper. I kick, punch, hog the middle of the bed, do weird things with the blankets, I grind my teeth, talk in my sleep and (thankfully not recently) sleepwalk. All of which the husband must put up with. He's never slept in the guest room though. He just mumbles under his breath.

dgm said...

Apparently I do quite a bit of laughing in my sleep. One of my college roommates used to wake up early and get ready for work in the bathroom next to my room. She used to hear me laughing and talking in my room while our other roommmate--who shared a room with me--talked in her sleep. But when roomie #1 opened the bedroom door, both I and roomie #2 would be sound asleep.

Sally said...

One of our mini schnauzers sleeps in between us, so it keeps us on our own side of our tempur pedic king size bed...you don't even realize when someone rolls over.

Of course, there was the one night about 3 years ago when I moved the dog over to the middle of the bed, and she accidentally sat on hubby's arm, and he FREAKED out. He rolled over so fast b/c he thought someone was attacking him, or something, that he dislocated his shoulder! What a nightmare! It was a recurring old injury, and I freaked out b/c he was in so much pain and yelling and screaming, but he finally put it back in himself, and we TRIED to go back to sleep. I never want that to happen again!

Anvilcloud said...

While I'm having sleep issues, I haven't been punched out lately. :)

TennesseeDreamer said...

I HATE to be touched while I'm sleeping since I'm usually a light sleeper and it wakes me up. Once I'm awake during the night, it takes forever to get back to sleep. For some reason, my husband thinks it's necessary to reach over and grab/rub my butt during the night. In his defense, he's mostly asleep and doesn't realize he's doing it, but it drives me crazy!

Atasha said...

I'm glad I am not the only one. :) Some years ago I got a nasty elbow to the face. He woke up because it was a very hard blow and I started crying. Since then I joke with him and I tell him if you want to hit/punch me don't wait until I am sleeping.
What about fighting for the blanket. We won't even go there. That's why I have a separate blanket for myself. Before that it was a fight to keep myself warm.

Heather said...

Oh my - this post could have been written by ME! Been there, done that.

karla said...

I'm sorry, but did you say you have a California King?

I think I might have to pack my bags and go and sleep with you. I promise I don't hit. OK?

Sunshine said...

One thing to look forward to about the nursing home...I get my own bed back.

The snoring, farting bastard will be all the way across the room.

I jest, but kind of not.

Autumn's Mom said...

haha I'm still laughing. With you Gina, WITH YOU.

Family Adventure said...

I could have written everything you wrote here myself...EXCEPT for his love of shopping. Just so you know -- it could be worse!

Heidi :)

captain corky said...

My wife emailed me a link one time about how couples that sleep in separate beds have much more successful marriages than people who sleep together. I kind of got bent out of shape myself, but now that we are on different sleeping schedules, our sex life has really, really improved, and I sleep like a baby every night. ;)

Scout said...

I have been smacked, too, actually, although "elbowed" is a better description. Now that we have a king sized bed, though, all is well. You stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine.

Hope said...

like some of the others, my husband frequently nails me with his elbow. One particular morning he told me that I had sat up in the middle of the night and smacked the crap out of him, screaming... do not ever elbow me again..... I swear I was sleep beating.
I would love love love my own bed, my own room, and on at at least a few days of this 31 year marriage, my own house.

Nance said...

I actually had to forbid my husband from playing any sort of games on the computer that had to do with war. Every time he did, he ended up making such jerking, defensive movements in his sleep that I got hit. Once, he leaned over and hollered in my face because he dreamed that he was "ambushing the enemy." That was it. NO MORE. Now he sticks with Tiger Woods.

Liz said...

So with you on this one. My husband is a snorer, a groper, a covers hog and a kicker. Lately he's been banished to the recliner in the family room. Not that he's chosen it, it's just that I wait until he falls asleep in the chair and then tip-toe off to bed. After almost 23 years married, I feel comfortable with this arrangement.

Laura said...

My husband used to do that all the time. And then I would wake up and be pinned because he was sleeping with his head on my back... It was a good thing his snoring didn't really bother me. Great post, I can totally picture it.

shell said...

no matter how big the bed is (we have a queen, but if we stay somewhere with a king or bigger) hubby will inevitably end up sleeping almost on top of me. he says it's because i'm so warm, but i know he's just an annoying bed hog. most of the time we don't sleep together because he insists on falling asleep in front of the tv, which i refuse to have in the bedroom, so he is usually sleeps on the couch.