Last week, we went to Disneyland, looking to perhaps take a photo for our Christmas card. And actually, we don't do a family photo because we figure, everybody knows what we look like, they want to see the boy. So we try to make people happy. We're all about the happy.
Two places I normally go to for Santa photos have great Santas. The beards are real, the eyebrows are real, the tummy, everything.
I thought to myself, and compared to those guys, how much better is the Santa at Disneyland going to be? I mean, it's Disney, where everything is perfect all the time. So I chortled to myself, thinking we were going to get a picture with the uber-Santa. The Santa to end all Santas.
After standing in line for over a half hour, we finally get a glimpse of the man who is supposed to provide me with THE photo.
Can you say, fake beard? Can you say, white clown makeup on the eyebrows? Can you say young guy pretending to be old Santa? Add to that, I swear he looks drunk in the photos. I'm not saying he was drunk, but he sure looks like he tossed back a few too many spiked eggnogs.
I was crushed.
Disney, who can make anything look real, gave me a fake Santa.