A relative gave Mr. P a Magic 8 Ball as a gift, but I found myself sneaking it out of his room to ask it questions. I now base my entire life on the answers the Magic 8 Ball gives me. It's never been wrong yet. Here, I'll show you...
Dear Magic 8 Ball, will the next President be a Republican?
Will George Clooney ever invite me to Lake Como?
Will drivers who have the audacity to cut me off on the freeway be sent to the seventh circle of hell?
The expensive plant my sister bought me, will I wind up killing it?
Hubba-hubba wants to know, will I ever fold that pile of laundry in the bedroom?
All hail the Magic 8 Ball! Anybody else got a question?