Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Mental Chaos

I don't normally post in the middle of the day, but earlier this morning I had to go to the OB/GYN.

Why?

Because I have been bleeding intermittently for the past two days, and while not exactly feeling doubled over from cramps, haven't exactly felt stellar, either.

So there is this big to-do because they want to get me in to be seen, yet the earliest appointment will mean that Hubba-hubba has to take off work to pick up Mr. P from Tiny Tots and I'm thinking this is just a big hullabaloo over nothing.

Well, maybe not.

I haven't talked to anyone except Hubba-hubba yet, as almost everyone is at work, and I feel I need to sort this out before I go hysterical on someone over the phone. Which I may or may not do.

The OB went ahead and did an ultrasound, and I will tell you my experience, and you, the wise internets, can tell me if I should be hysterical or not.

The order of likelikhood of each of these is in descending order, meaning that according to the OB, the first is the most likely.

1) Because the fetal sac is measuring only 5 weeks, yet I am supposedly 6 weeks, there is a chance the pregnancy is not developing properly.

2) Because of those same measurements, it is possible that my cycle was irregular and I am on track, just the wrong dates have been assumed.

3) Ectopic pregnancy (which she said was not terribly likely), which to anyone unfamiliar, is not a good thing.

I am to be having all sorts of blood tests to measure my HCG levels and the like, as well as the OB freaking out that I wasn't immediately put in the high-risk category based on my medical history. According to her, I should never have been treated as a "normal" pregnancy and should already have been evaluated. Which is funny, because I specifically went to ask my primary doctor that very question, and she said, no, they would treat me as normal unless given a sign not to.

Oh man, I almost forgot an important thing. When the nursing assitant was making my appointment for next week, she called out to another assistant, "Hey, what does the code SAB mean?" Her buddy answered, "Follow-up after a miscarriage."

And here I was sitting there thinking, was I supposed to hear that? What the hell does that mean? If she thinks it's a miscarriage, why did she tell me that all we could do was wait? Note to nurses- those things have a code for a REASON, so the patient doesn't know what the hell is going on!

The OB said that time will tell which of the three scenarios is the correct one, and can I tell you honestly that with 2 out of the 3 being negative, and the exchange above, I'm not feeling all that great? I don't know whether to feel sad or hopeful or resigned or what.

Add to that we are supposed to go away on vacation on Friday, and that sort of makes it better and worse at the same time.

And, I'm feeling resentful that Hubba-hubba went back to work. Even though I know he had a training and there is really nothing to be done, I still feel bad.

Any advice?

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