Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Just Don't Burn Me

For the first time, since I started this blogging thing oh-so-long ago, I am thinking of hanging up the keyboard. Now, now, I didn't say I would actually do it, but it marks some sort of watershed moment in my life that blogging could no longer be a possiblility. And that I might be ok with that.

I don't know if it is the stress of me adjusting to this stupid, stupid work schedule of Hubba-hubba's where he works twice as hard, spends more time at work, and yet has not, and may not, receive a pay raise. Yeah, tell me. But according to him it is all about the opportunity, Gina, and the chance to do something different. Which I can sort of understand, so I will play along.

You see, I take things personally, like lack of comments, and instantly turn it into ME. Because it has always been and will always be about ME. Because some months weeks days that is just how I roll. I must not be funny enough or engaging enough. And why, oh why, did that person that I left a perfectly nice comment on their blog, not have the courtesy to come over and do the same?

And the whole Alpha Mom crap that is going on just makes me want to spit. Oooh, according to the pundits I must be a Beta Mom who is just waiting to pounce on whatever goodies those Alphas have going. Because I am a follower and they are my leaders, even though I am only subconsciously aware of this. Not. I know Finslippy says differently, and I believe she is being perfectly sincere when she says that everyone can be an Alpha Mom, but that is not what the branding and name, as well as etymology of the term "Alpha" implies. And when I learned that it was a venture started by a former Wall Street power vulture broker, I wanted even less to do with it.

No, not a little bitter over here, not at all.

And, I subscribe (though never comment) to a certain blog that hosts a thing every month wherein people nominate each other for great posts, and for some reason, it seems like the same people just keep nominating each other over and over again. I mean, I am sure these people are great writers, but in all the blogosphere, there have got to be more than fifty people who write a great post in a month. And no, I am not asking for a pity vote here. In fact, I would actually be quite pissed if anyone suddenly nominated me for one just because I complained.

Did we mention any bitterness?

So perhaps I should retreat into a dark corner and marinate in my bitterness alone. I could just sort of stew here in my Ziploc baggie of bad emotions and if I sit in there long enough maybe I will come out all tender and juicy instead of tough and dry.

You never know.

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