Do you know what I got for my birthday last month?
I'll tell you in case you don't.
Big fat wads of cash.
Yes, about four hundred dollars worth of glorious cash to spend on whatever I wished. Mostly, I wanted clothes, and I told everyone that, which is why so many checks and greenbacks found their way to me.
And do you know that no matter how hard I try, I cannot find anything that I like.
I have trolled websites, I have shown up at stores, salivating at the thought that I could actually pick something off the rack and pay for it right then and there! I wouldn't have to wait for it to go on sale and pray that they still had my size available, or cry tears into my pillow at night that I could not afford the pretty, pretty shirt or skirt or whatever.
I mean, I don't really cry into my pillow at night about pretty clothes and my lack of ability to afford them. Er, often. I don't make a regular habit of it or anything, ok?
Seriously, just kidding.
Anyway, now that I have some moolah to spend on myself, everything is just butt ugly. I mean, all of a sudden bermudas are the thing this spring. Or at least I am going to assume that because they are everywhere. Bermudas can be truly unflattering if they are not cut properly and they must stop in the right place, or you will look like a popsicle. I'm just not really digging the bermuda thing, but it seems I have little choice unless I want to flounce around in short shorts. Which I don't, and I assure you, you don't want me to, either.
And good-looking, comfortable sandals? Forget it. Either they have some sort of ridiculous two inch heel or they come in multiple colors. On the same shoe, which just really doesn't work for me. I like my shoes to be two colors at best, perhaps black and white. But white and turqoise? Orange and green? I just don't have the type of wardrobe where I have endless amounts of clothes to mix and match with the colors on my shoes. Multi-purpose is the name of the game for my shoes.
Just wait, I will reluctantly spend most of the money because I need clothes badly, and after it is all gone, a bunch of really cute things will come out and I will bang my head against my wall.
Or maybe cry into my pillow.