Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I Think I'll Change My Name to HW for Short

My good buddy Py had a post not too long ago that asked, "Are You an Asshole?" or for the more faint of heart among us, "Are You a Huge Weenie?" There is a handy dandy link "here" to take a test just for that specific purpose. As if you didn't already know the results.

But then again, did you?

I mean, there are lots of polls out there that ask people if they are good drivers. Somthing like 85% of the respondents claim that they are great drivers, it's everybody else who sucks the big one. And we all know that statistically, that just isn't possible. Averages exist for a reason, and not everyone can be above average.

So I wonder, do people who truly qualify as Huge Weenies, and we all know at least one, walk around thinking they are great and everyone loves them? That they think people avoid them because they can't stand to be in the presence of such briliance, instead of a genuine loathing? Do they fool themselves into believing that the grimace that accompanies their entrance into the room is due to some bad Chinese food coming back instead of the fact that the person in question wishes they had never stayed that extra two minutes?

I think it must be so. I don't know too many people who go around listing and categorizing their faults in interpersonal relationships. If so, it is probably only because it is an assignment from their therapist. In fact, the Huge Weenies that I know actually like to be around people a lot. Too much, to be exact. It seems that they take a peculiar relish in making people uncomfortable. They enjoy hovering, they enjoy invading your personal space, and they enjoy trying to shock the crap out of you. Not that I would know from any sort of personal knowledge or anything like that.

In fact, I took the test, and surprisingly, I came out with a score of exactly one. I admit to being kind of bitchy, so perhaps I am among those fooling themselves. I really am a Huge Weenie, I just refuse to admit it.

But trust me, I am a fabulous driver.

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