This Is My Year, Baby

So, we are now in the "Year of the Pig" according to the Chinese lunar calendar. And I, my friends, was born in one of the pig years. It is supposedly the year of the Golden Pig, although technically there is no such element associated with the Chinese astrological signs. It might be just "metal" but "golden" made for a much catchier phrase. Yeah, year of the Metal Pig just doesn't have the right ring, does it?

In my misspent youth, I used to avidly read my horoscope, and let me tell you, Pisces horoscopes are damn boring. Nothing big ever seems to happen to a Pisces. No, the flashier Leos and Scorpios and such lead much more dramatic lives, it seems. The poor fishy just sort of floats around, waiting for someone to feed it or something. The daily horoscopes, when I used to read them, never applied to me as it always mentioned work and lovers, of which at the age of 12 or whatever, I had neither.

Then I stumbled upon Chinese astrology, which seemed to fit me a bit better. I found an author who wrote a very weighty tome in which she discussed in detail both the Western and Eastern signs separately, then went ahead and did an analysis for a combined East/West sign. So, my alliterative cross-cultural sign is a Pisces-Pig. Doesn't sound so great, does it? According to this author, this is an excerpt of what I am like:

THE SENTIENT CLASSICIST

The degree of permeability in the Pisces/Pig subject is so elevated as to cause him or her a real burden. This person feels more deeply than we do. Pisces/Pigs are gentle souls with unlimited ambition. They are sensualists who love luxe and care immensely for tradition and custom. I'd say without hesitation that the Pisces/Pig's biggest stumbling block is the modern world. He is old-fashioned and firmly rooted in time-honored ways. Shortcuts irritate the Pisces/Pig. Nicknames grate on his nerves. Gadgets bore him. Some people accuse this person of being a clinging vine in matters of the heart. It's fully understandable because the Pisces born Pig needs the security of full-time affection and tenderness in order to survive. Without fervent full time love, he feels shipwrecked and alone. He will go to great lengths to hang onto an object of desire. Nothing, for the Pisces/Pig, can replace true love. His sex drive is known for being a tad over the top but...

Am I wrong to be more confused at the end of this than I was at the beginning? Why am I so permeable? She makes me sound like some sort of gas bubble or something. I'm not sure I agree with the modern world being my biggest problem, but I am certainly a lover of luxurious things, thus my "no camping" rule. And as for the sex drive? I'm not telling.

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