Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Year Of?

So 2007 will be the year I get pregnant again.

Or not.

You see, I have given myself until about June. And if it hasn't happened by then, I'm afraid it just isn't gonna happen.

Will my thyroid condition be under control by then? Will I have lost enough weight? Will I even be able to conceive at all, considering I will be 36 this March? Couple that with the difficulty in conceiving with a low TSH count, and all bets are off.

It may be selfish of me to be setting this deadline, but I know of no other way in which I can keep my sanity.

I have to be totally honest with myself. If I do that, I have to admit that I honestly don't want more than six years between my children. It may not be a choice that everyone would agree with, but it is the choice that works best for me.

I have a doctor's appointment on the 10th of this month. I tried to tell him last time that the clock was "ticking" for me, and that I am starting to get frustrated with the lack of progress. He didn't really seem to care, so this time either he is going to "get" it or I will probably try to find another doctor more amenable to going at a bit of a faster pace than the glacial one I am now on.

I think it is the fact that I have no control over what is going on is what annoys me the most. Perhaps that is why I have set the timetable that I have, in order to wrest some semblance of order and timeliness from circumstances that provide me with none.

So, the waiting game begins...

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