Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sunday Flashback Theater 2000

This week's flashback is yet another 80's band, and let's get this out right now, there's gonna be a lot of 80's videos featured here, 'k? That was my musical era, my friends. The one which I feel most comfortable with. And let's face it, the wealth of cheesy videos produced during that time make for some good flashback fodder.

Icehouse was an Australian band, led by lead singer Iva Davies. No, that's not a typo. Now, I am usually not one for "high" male voices, but Iva simply has a wonderful tonal quality which draws me to him. That, and the poufy hair reminiscent of Patrick Dempsey. The song today doesn't really put that voice on full display, but trust me, it's good.

Icehouse had a couple of hits here in the States, although their main success would be in their home country. They never made it truly mainstream here, although I have no idea why not. Their music is melodic and quite easily accessible, and there is nothing in their music that would be off-putting, like say, The Clash. They are the essence of smooth, manufactured pop. But, such very pretty manufactured pop.

I present to you "Hey Little Girl" which has a very Bryan Ferry-ish feel to it, which makes me love it all the more. I was going to choose another song from them (No Promises) that I possibly enjoy a wee bit more, but upon seeing this video, you will understand why I went with this one.

Here's the play by play:

-Ooooh, black and white. We must be in the past.
-All right, we are apparently now in the present. The moody present, because nothing says moody like a lone man sitting in a chair with a light on only half of his face.
-Object of affection stares down at boy, who in turn becomes quite angry himself. There is a lot of anger for just the first thirty seconds. I have a bad feeling about this.
-Now, suddenly we have Miss Havisham with a martini glass, no less.
-Watch it, Miss Havisham, you are going to spill your drink!
-Fog rolls in on him, increasing the moodiness, like, tenfold.
-They say kids grow up fast, but that's a bit much.
-Poor rejected boy from the past seems to be needing some kind of restraining order.
-Just look at this ho, now she's with yet another guy!
-Hey, old perv, hands off!
-Girl seems to spend an inordinate amount of time looking out of windows.
-I just realized that there are three times in this video, long time ago, not-quite-as-long time ago, and present.
-Friend is looking at her like, what's your problem, try always having to play second fiddle to you, Miss Ho-Diva!
-Of course! Rain=moody, so it's perfect!
-Friend says something nasty. Bitch. For some reason I'm fond of restraining order man.
-Oh, I thought this was the room for the AA meeting. Fancy meeting you here!
-We go back (and I don't need to explain this anymore, do I?) and severe-bun woman must be Mom who rejected him at the house as well. Bitch.
-Immediately begin taking drugs, apparently conveniently stored somewhere nearby, whilst drinking out of our teacup. How civilized!
-Them's some fast-acting drugs!
-Did you see Mom just totally shove friend out of the way?
-Mom is mad. Gee, that's a surprise.
-He looked a little mean singing the "should have known better" didn't he?
-Dude, is he the only person in the theater? That would freak me out a little, too.
-Aaaaaagh, the mere sight of him makes her collapse!
-Why did that man try to keep the old guy from helping her? And that other chick was just so "I'm outta here, drugged ballerina can find her own way off the damn stage."
-Awwwww, restraining order man is the only one willing to help her.
-Wheeee! I'm pirouetting in the middle of a bridge in the middle of the night with my dress unzipped in the back! Wheee! Did I mention I was a ho? And probably drunk and/or drugged?
-Watch out, can't you see that car coming!
-Oh my god! Do you mean to tell me that restraining order man could not see a woman in a white dress in his headlights? Come on.
-Look of horror-totally faked. She actually leans into the car!
-He didn't actually look all that surprised. Crap, was that a pothole or a drunk ballerina? It's hard to tell, you know.
-Miss Havisham accepts the touching condolence of a disembodied hand.
-Sheeesh. I knew I was right about my bad feeling.

(And if you think that was a long recap, Hubba-hubba made me cut at least a third out)

Now, for the million dollar question- is Miss Havisham the drunk ballerina or is it the regretful mother? Ok, two million dollar questions- whose hand is that? I'm totally confused.

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