Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I'll Name it After Me, Of Course

I keep hearing that 40 is the new 30. Brown is the new black. Pork is the new white meat.

So, I thought, why not declare dirty the new clean?

Thanks to the industrial revolution, we are inundated with chemicals and waste on a scale never dreamed of before those factories belched their smoke and those cars began spewing exhaust.

As I was dusting today, I wondered why a layer of whitish dust couldn't be considered a "sfumato effect."

As I was mopping today, I wondered why spots of dirt couldn't be considered a "mosaic" effect.

As I was cleaning the bathroom mirror, I wondered why bits of shaving cream and goodness-knows-what that ends up on there couldn't be considered a "glaze."

As I was rinsing the dishes, I wondered why bits of stuck on food couldn't be considered "decoration."

It's all about the packaging, my friends.

Join me in the new revolution! Think of how many hours a week we could save!

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