Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Because I'm Nice Like That

So this morning after waking up early (for him) Hubba-hubba kindly offered to zip down to the grocery store and buy a couple of things we needed. Well, actually he was out of soy milk in order to fuel his new food-obsession, so my things were a definite oh-by-the-way. Now Hubba-hubba professes to be a very observant guy. He claims that in order to perform his job successfully, he must be almost hyper-observant. Apparently that quality gets stored in his locker before he comes home, because let me show you the list I handed to my husband:

Milton crackers- Small Squares
Chex Mix Kids- Three Cheese
Chips- BBQ’d Baked Kettle Chips
Spaghetti Sauce- Barilla or Paul Newman’s
Raviolettis- Cheese
Cream Cheese- Light
Ranch Dressing- Light
Barilla Protein Enriched Spaghetti
Turkey Meatballs

Now, do you notice the exquisite detail? Not just Milton crackers but the small square ones versus the large round ones. I even verbally explained the difference to him as well as telling him all the aisles in which he would find these products. And it isn’t as if he hasn’t been to this grocery store before, he is quite familiar with it.

This is what he came home with:

Milton crackers- large round
Chex Mix- Bold Party Blend
Chips- Tim’s Hawaiian BBQ
Spaghetti Sauce- Barilla
Cream Cheese-Regular
Buttermilk Dressing- Regular
Barilla Protein Enriched Spaghetti
Turkey Meatballs

I could be wrong because math just ain’t my thing, but he got only three things correct out of nine. Hello, how does light Ranch dressing translate into regular Buttermilk? Just because they are the same color? And I don't know how much more specific I could have been with the chips. The raviolettis (small kid-sized refrigerated pasta) were abandoned altogether for something completely different. He claimed the tortellinis were not all that different since they also contained cheese, but I'm not buying it.

I wish that his “hyper-observance” would have translated into at least a little over half of the things on the list being correct. Maybe he just felt that coming home empty handed was worse than coming home with something not on the list.

Well, he got that wrong.

If I were a teacher, I would give him a little sticker on his test that said, "Nice try!" but give him a D. In big red Sharpie writing. Even though he technically deserves an F, but I am a charitable person so I'll cut him some slack. This time.

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