Sunday, June 25, 2006

Lazy Sunday

So the excellent read Waiter Rant has just posted a list of cell phone etiquette, and I'm going to let him do the work for me today. If you haven't ever checked out his blog, it is always thought provoking, and I have it on my blogroll.

I happen to think all these ring (ha!) true, and the sad, sad thing is that there are so many of them! It has kind of gotten out of hand, at least here in LA, and apparently also in NY. I cannot tell you how annoying people with cell phones are. Rare is the person who has not acted like a jerk at one time or another with their phone. And Hubba-hubba says that well over half of the drivers at fault in car accidents that he takes reports for had been using a cell.

I had a cell phone for a very short time, and I have only wished to have one perhaps three times a year on average. For the money I'm saving, I'll live with the occasional longing.

Here is Waiter's List:


HOW TO USE A CELLPHONE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN ASSHOLE

1. Do not use your cell phone while driving. Pull over. Even hands free phones are distracting.

2. Refrain from using the cell phone on the subway, bus, airplane, and train.

3. When eating out do not use your cell phone at the table! (Unless you’re using the web browser to read Waiter Rant.) Go outside. I don’t care if it’s raining.

4. Talk normally. There’s no need to yell. If your surroundings are too loud maybe you shouldn’t be using your phone.

5. If you have to say, “Can you hear me now?” five times – they can’t. Hang up.

6. Do not interrupt a conversation with a real live person to answer your cell phone. (Transplant surgeons are exempt from this rule.)

7. Do not use your cell phone to talk to someone in the same room.

8. When out with coworkers or friends, constantly checking your phone for messages is annoying.

9. Text messaging while talking to another person is rude.

10. Your kid’s text messaging at the dinner table is rude! I can make them stop with a look. Why can’t you?

11. If your call gets dropped, wait a few minutes and get into a better coverage area before calling back. Don’t frantically try calling me back NINE times in thirty seconds forcing me to listen to static. I don’t like you that much.

12. If you see a number you don’t recognize in your phone’s missed call log, don’t ring it at three AM saying, “Yo! I got a call from this number! You call me? Who’s this?” Pathetic.

13. Stick with one ring tone - you all know what I’m talking about.

14. Stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to answer your cell phone is moronic.

15. Make sure the phone’s charged before you leave the house. Restaurant outlets are not for your cell phone. Fluvio’s cell phone chargers already use up all the Bistro’s available outlets. (He has 5 cell phones, 2 Blackberries, and 2 PDA phones!) You knew this post was coming Fluvio.

16. Guys – when eating with other men in a restaurant don’t whip out your cell phones as you sit down and put them on the table. Nothing says “Gee, I wonder if his is bigger than mine?” than that little maneuver.

17. Put the phone on vibrate in a restaurant. Actually put it on vibrate everywhere. Put the damn thing in your pants if you’re looking for a little fun.

18. Unless you’re expecting a call from God - turn off your phone in church, synagogue, or the mosque.

19. Set the ringer volume below an ear shattering 200 decibels.

20. Don’t use the phone’s video camera in inappropriate places. Try using it in a strip club and see what happens.

21. Don’t keep the wireless headset plugged in your ear when not using the phone. The coolness quotient on that expired years ago. And while you’re blabbering into space don’t be offended if I mistake you for a schizophrenic. Sometimes I can’t see the headset.

22. If you’re running late the ability to call your boss from the road does not magically make your tardiness OK!

23. Having a cell phone does not mean you can change your plans nine times before actually meeting up with friends. Pick a time and place and stick to it.

24. Don’t have your friends call you with an “emergency” to extricate you from a bad date. Be a grownup and deal with it.

25. If you’re going to be late for a restaurant reservation please use your cell phone and tell us!

26. Turn off your cell phone at the opera, ballet, movies, live theater, and concerts. Again, transplant surgeons are exempt.

27. Turn off your cell phone before doing anything romantic – use your imagination.

28. Cell phones shouldn’t be allowed in schools. If parents are so concerned with their kid’s safety they shouldn’t vote down the school budget every year or elect local Mussolinis to the Board of Education. Cell phones won’t teach a kid how to read or make then any safer. Besides – it makes cheating so much easier.

29. Answering your cell phone at a wake is the pinnacle of self involvement. You’re going to hell. Sorry.

30. Just turn the thing off. You don’t have to be available all the time.



Amen, brother.

2 comments:

Atasha said...

I still cannot get the link to work. Yes, I do have a pop-up blocker with Norton but tells me when there's an attempt being made and whether or not to allow it and nothing. Woe is me!

wordgirl said...

Good to know. Thanks.