Wednesday, May 03, 2006

My Revenge Will Be in the Form of a Mimosa

So tonight I am questioning my sanity.

We are going to have a garage sale.

But not just any garage sale, my friends. No, it was my bright idea to turn it into a community garage sale. Or not so bright, as the case may well turn out to be.

I blame this all on Hubba-hubba.

One day he got a bug up his ass to clean out our garage. Not for the faint of heart, let me warn you. We had many many things that were stacked up to the rafters, threatening to topple at any moment. We had many useless items that we would always look at and wonder what the hell we were going to do with that. And who gave it to us, anyway? Oh yeah, your sister. Ahhh, that one was from your mother.

That's why I blame Hubba-hubba.

I'm not sure if it's because they don't really like us, but Hubba-hubba's family are the supreme winners of the crappy gift game. Now don't be all telling me that it is a gift, Gina, be grateful that someone even gave you something.

Look at my garage and I dare you to say it.

Queen sized mattress pad when we don't have a queen bed? Check.

Ugly purple (because purple is her favorite color) glasses when all of my tableware is either white or blue? Check.

Bath mats in purple (see above) when I requested green or blue? Check.

The horrific Mikasa Christmas plates bought on clearance that I know for a fact have been stored in his mother's closet for years, waiting for the chance to be given to someone at the last minute? Check.

Weird baby toy that has nothing written on it inside or out but Chinese characters? Check.

Our garage is filled with crap that I never asked for and certainly don't need. So why not make some play money off it? You never knew I was so crass? Well, you've not really heard the stories I have of Hubba-hubba's family.

I think when you give a person a gift, you are sending them a message, and it has very little to do with the actual cost of the gift. There are perfectly thoughtful and cute things that can cost five or ten dollars, and if you have cared enough to actually find out what they want, will make the receiver perfectly happy. However, while not rich, Hubba-hubba's family have perfected the art of spending money they don't even particularly have, so that isn't the case.

Caring is the operative word, and it does not apply to the situation with me and Hubba-hubba's family. Or sadly, even with him, for that matter.

Message has been received, for years now, loud and clear.

Gina needs a vacation, so unknowingly, and probably to their horror, Hubba-hubba's family is actually going to get me a gift I could really use.

They just don't know it yet.


Granny said...

San Francisco has a sidewalk sale that runs on for about ten blocks (complete with refreshment stands.

There's another one down in Appalachia somewhere that I believe even crosses state lines. It's in Guiness.

Have fun.

Liz said...

Go for it! Why have to look at all that stuff, let alone store it or lug it with you if you move?

Somehow, my mother in law has decided that a certain shade of blue is just my color. Guess what Goodwill got a whole bunch of one year?

Mega Mom said...

Ugliest black purse in the world, check.
Ugliest napkin rings in the world, check.
Completely crappy scrapbooking stuff, check.
18 crappy pots and pans when I asked for one nice pan, check.
And on, and on, and on. I feel your pain sistah!

WordsRock said...

Yes indeed, go for it! At our recent garage sale, we netted several hundred dollars. After the sale we immediately toted any remaining junk to the donation station and dropped it off. What a feeling.

The only thing better than "free" green in your pocket is empty storage space in which to count it.


J said...

Truly, a clean garage AND money for a vacation, even if it's just enough for a nice evening out for you and Hubba would be SO worth it all. Good luck.

Awesome Mom said...

uh yeah I have gotten some very odd gifts from my inlaws too. Some of it actually gets used but for the most part it gets given to charity. I am very much an antipack rat and I think that I am rubbing off on my husband. I loath clutter.

oshee said...

Get rid of it all. There will be other people like your in-laws who think those things the perfect gift for someone they know.

wordgirl said...

If there's little thought to the gift, then they probably won't even notice that the stuff is gone from your garage. Good luck.