My Revenge Will Be in the Form of a Mimosa

So tonight I am questioning my sanity.

We are going to have a garage sale.

But not just any garage sale, my friends. No, it was my bright idea to turn it into a community garage sale. Or not so bright, as the case may well turn out to be.

I blame this all on Hubba-hubba.

One day he got a bug up his ass to clean out our garage. Not for the faint of heart, let me warn you. We had many many things that were stacked up to the rafters, threatening to topple at any moment. We had many useless items that we would always look at and wonder what the hell we were going to do with that. And who gave it to us, anyway? Oh yeah, your sister. Ahhh, that one was from your mother.

That's why I blame Hubba-hubba.

I'm not sure if it's because they don't really like us, but Hubba-hubba's family are the supreme winners of the crappy gift game. Now don't be all telling me that it is a gift, Gina, be grateful that someone even gave you something.

Look at my garage and I dare you to say it.

Queen sized mattress pad when we don't have a queen bed? Check.

Ugly purple (because purple is her favorite color) glasses when all of my tableware is either white or blue? Check.

Bath mats in purple (see above) when I requested green or blue? Check.

The horrific Mikasa Christmas plates bought on clearance that I know for a fact have been stored in his mother's closet for years, waiting for the chance to be given to someone at the last minute? Check.

Weird baby toy that has nothing written on it inside or out but Chinese characters? Check.

Our garage is filled with crap that I never asked for and certainly don't need. So why not make some play money off it? You never knew I was so crass? Well, you've not really heard the stories I have of Hubba-hubba's family.

I think when you give a person a gift, you are sending them a message, and it has very little to do with the actual cost of the gift. There are perfectly thoughtful and cute things that can cost five or ten dollars, and if you have cared enough to actually find out what they want, will make the receiver perfectly happy. However, while not rich, Hubba-hubba's family have perfected the art of spending money they don't even particularly have, so that isn't the case.

Caring is the operative word, and it does not apply to the situation with me and Hubba-hubba's family. Or sadly, even with him, for that matter.

Message has been received, for years now, loud and clear.

Gina needs a vacation, so unknowingly, and probably to their horror, Hubba-hubba's family is actually going to get me a gift I could really use.

They just don't know it yet.

Comments

Granny said…
San Francisco has a sidewalk sale that runs on for about ten blocks (complete with refreshment stands.

There's another one down in Appalachia somewhere that I believe even crosses state lines. It's in Guiness.

Have fun.
3:15 AM
Liz said…
Go for it! Why have to look at all that stuff, let alone store it or lug it with you if you move?

Somehow, my mother in law has decided that a certain shade of blue is just my color. Guess what Goodwill got a whole bunch of one year?
3:55 AM
Suzanne said…
Yes indeed, go for it! At our recent garage sale, we netted several hundred dollars. After the sale we immediately toted any remaining junk to the donation station and dropped it off. What a feeling.

The only thing better than "free" green in your pocket is empty storage space in which to count it.

Suzanne
5:32 AM
J said…
Truly, a clean garage AND money for a vacation, even if it's just enough for a nice evening out for you and Hubba would be SO worth it all. Good luck.
6:56 AM
Awesome Mom said…
uh yeah I have gotten some very odd gifts from my inlaws too. Some of it actually gets used but for the most part it gets given to charity. I am very much an antipack rat and I think that I am rubbing off on my husband. I loath clutter.
11:29 AM
oshee said…
Get rid of it all. There will be other people like your in-laws who think those things the perfect gift for someone they know.
5:15 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Onward

The end of the school year, finally! Did I tell you that my son went to public school this past year? Did I tell you that my daughter was in a regular Kinder classroom this year? Although it was nice to have them both in school, there were definitely things I was not so hip on, such as having to wake up at 5:20 every morning just to get everyone out the door on time.  And then after all the driving and dropping off, going to work. Such fun! I had forgotten the dreariness of having to complete mounds and mounds of homework (even though new research has shown that homework, especially for Kinder, is for shit).  Of constant deadlines and fundraisers and things I am supposed to volunteer for. My daughter had a good year, but was definitely not without its bumps. Her teacher, an older, highly experienced, practical woman with a Master's in Education, kept referring to my daughter as an "inclusion student."  It wasn't her name or just "student" but was
Read more

Fallen Between the Cracks

Why did I stop writing here? With the grace of 20/20 hindsight, there were a LOT of reasons. My daughter's journey would get tougher and tougher, and as I added work into the mix of raising two kids, it was one more thing I just didn't have time for. And well, that work thing.  It sure does suck a lot of free time away, doesn't it?  Even though I am still only part time. I will be honest, as much as I adored all the people on the blogosphere that were kind enough to grace me with their wit and time, I just could not keep up with the constant commenting that I felt was only fair to these wonderful people.   So instead, what did I do? I did what any self respecting coward would do. I ghosted, of course. Not that I think my absence was enough to cause people to be distressed, but I feel badly if anyone felt slighted. Even as I write this, I feel like I am being waaaay too self important.  Isn't that the whole point of a blog, though?  Nobody writes a blog that doesn't
Read more

Apples and Oranges

Perhaps some of you may have noticed, but the real estate market is beginning a tumble in prices that benefit us, prospective buyers. And we're going to wait. That is cold, cold comfort to those such as J and Py , who are attempting to sell their place as we speak. But, we're not going to wait too much longer, if that makes them feel any better. There is no sense trying to time the bottom of the market, and we have been putting off moving, oh, since Mr. P was born because of the huge runup in prices. So huge that at one point, we could barely afford to buy our own place from ourselves. We should be ok even if we sell at a lower price than we could have gotten say, two years ago. We have, however, a dilemma. We have narrowed our choices down to two cities. And we are stuck there. We just can't figure out which city is better, and they are oh-so-different. Let me give you a rundown. City 1 Older, smaller houses (in our price range) Larger lots Beach city Infrastructure
Read more