When Mops Attack
So it seems that lately my life is simply serving as a cautionary tale to others.
Witness:
Do you see this child smiling happily, holding the wonderful Libman mop? Do you know why this child is smiling? Because he does not have boobs, that's why. I believe also that they have to qualify as big boobs, at least a C cup. If you are less than that, this warning does not apply.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ever be in a hurry to finish your mopping if you own a mop similar to this. DO NOT ever be distracted by that cobweb that is hanging annoyingly from your light fixture as you are pulling the handle up in order to bring it to its normal position.
If this does happen, you will painfully catch your boob in between the "stopper" part of the handle and the wringing mechanism. Think of those horrible, twisting pinches you used to get from the boys in grade school. Then multiply it by oh, about 3 on the pain scale. What makes it worse is that the pain is so shocking, you will stare at your boob caught between said parts for more seconds than is absolutely necessary. Or perhaps you will simply be shocked at your stupidity, either way, it's not good.
Hope for a minute that no one in the neighborhood thinks you are being mugged due to your high-pitched scream, and be glad that your husband is out with your preschooler.
That way no one will ever know.
Just be sure that no one catches you naked for a couple weeks, and you'll be ok.
Witness:
Do you see this child smiling happily, holding the wonderful Libman mop? Do you know why this child is smiling? Because he does not have boobs, that's why. I believe also that they have to qualify as big boobs, at least a C cup. If you are less than that, this warning does not apply.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ever be in a hurry to finish your mopping if you own a mop similar to this. DO NOT ever be distracted by that cobweb that is hanging annoyingly from your light fixture as you are pulling the handle up in order to bring it to its normal position.
If this does happen, you will painfully catch your boob in between the "stopper" part of the handle and the wringing mechanism. Think of those horrible, twisting pinches you used to get from the boys in grade school. Then multiply it by oh, about 3 on the pain scale. What makes it worse is that the pain is so shocking, you will stare at your boob caught between said parts for more seconds than is absolutely necessary. Or perhaps you will simply be shocked at your stupidity, either way, it's not good.
Hope for a minute that no one in the neighborhood thinks you are being mugged due to your high-pitched scream, and be glad that your husband is out with your preschooler.
That way no one will ever know.
Just be sure that no one catches you naked for a couple weeks, and you'll be ok.
Comments
Guess what got caught in the crack.
It's a dangerous world out there.
I am off to tell M that I am saving my boobs for him by not mopping....
Hope there's no permanent damage!
Suzanne
Don't think I will bring one of those dangerous things into my house. Thanks for the warning.