So Hubba-hubba is quite the stereotypical man who is unable to match clothes. I don't know how he managed to hide this lack of talent during the years we were dating. Perhaps he wore jeans and threw up a prayer that the shirt matched. Probably nineteen times out of twenty it worked, and the other times it was too dark for me to tell. Somehow, though, I never found out until it was too late.
I don't know how many times I have stared at him after he has put on gray pants with a gray shirt (!) and seriously expected to walk out of the house that way. He asks me if he looks ok, and I tell him Caspar the Friendly Ghost would like his outfit back. The sigh and eyeroll executed by me after such a faux pas was perfected eons ago. I think I should apply for a copyright. I have asked him if he is colorblind, but he vehemently denies it. Methinks perhaps the protest is a bit much.
He does the very same thing with Mr. Personality's clothes, even the pajamas. Does it take a genius to figure out that the fuzzy top with the football on it should go with the fuzzy bottoms with footballs on them as well? My friends, in this house, that is a rhetorical question. Hubba-hubba will dress him with the fuzzy football top, but non-fuzzy spaceship bottoms. Then, even worse, the pajamas are mismatched for the rest of the week. It drove me so nuts that I actually now fold the pajama tops and bottoms tucked together so that there will be absolutely no confusion. Forget the old-fashioned way of tops on this side of the drawer and bottoms on that side. The confused few always ruin it for the many. And make no mistake that the "many" referred to here is me.
Does anyone remember "Garanimals?" You know, the kids clothing line back in the 70's where all you had to do was match the purple monkey top with the purple monkey bottom, and you were stylin'? I'm thinking of introducing something similar for men, but with a more virile twist. I'll call it "Gamanimals" or perhaps, "No Guess?" How about beer keg bottoms to beer keg tops? Bikini blonde with bikini blonde and Red Bull with Red Bull?
I think I've got a winner here. Anybody want to invest?