An Open Letter
Dear Mr./Mrs. Winnie-the-Pooh Umbrella Thief,
Yes, I am calling you that because it is exactly what you are. I don't care if it was lying on the ground or the floor of the train or where ever it was that Hubba-hubba was so unwise to drop it without noticing.
I thought the phrase "finders keepers, losers weepers" was something that we grow out of, oh, sometime during middle school.
Oh yes, Umbrella Thief, even though you stole it on Monday, I have waited until today to inform the public of the crime. Because I try to be an optimist. I try to be a glass half full kind of gal. Thanks very much for just shattering the glass with a baseball bat.
Look, I know it is an awesome umbrella. I know that people love it, and they actually comment to you about it because it is so cute. Yes, about an umbrella, it nevers fails to amaze me.
But did you ever think, as you were picking it up and looking it over, that it was predicted to rain in less than three hours, and perhaps the rightful owner kind of needed it? Or something remotely like that?
Or that it might be the only means for a three year old to stay dry?
Or how about if this umbrella had been a gift from a deceased relative, one of the last gifts ever given by the beloved?
Ok, so that last one does not exactly pertain to this situation.
But, that is totally beside the point.
The point is, you don't know what that umbrella might have meant to the owner.
Even if it was just an umbrella.
And stealing it at Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth.
Have you not the slightest shred of shame?
Yes, I am calling you that because it is exactly what you are. I don't care if it was lying on the ground or the floor of the train or where ever it was that Hubba-hubba was so unwise to drop it without noticing.
I thought the phrase "finders keepers, losers weepers" was something that we grow out of, oh, sometime during middle school.
Oh yes, Umbrella Thief, even though you stole it on Monday, I have waited until today to inform the public of the crime. Because I try to be an optimist. I try to be a glass half full kind of gal. Thanks very much for just shattering the glass with a baseball bat.
Look, I know it is an awesome umbrella. I know that people love it, and they actually comment to you about it because it is so cute. Yes, about an umbrella, it nevers fails to amaze me.
But did you ever think, as you were picking it up and looking it over, that it was predicted to rain in less than three hours, and perhaps the rightful owner kind of needed it? Or something remotely like that?
Or that it might be the only means for a three year old to stay dry?
Or how about if this umbrella had been a gift from a deceased relative, one of the last gifts ever given by the beloved?
Ok, so that last one does not exactly pertain to this situation.
But, that is totally beside the point.
The point is, you don't know what that umbrella might have meant to the owner.
Even if it was just an umbrella.
And stealing it at Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth.
Have you not the slightest shred of shame?
Comments
Suzanne
Reminds me that once, a few years ago, my daughter found a cute little stuffed animal at a store, which probably fell out of someone's stroller or something. She wanted to keep it, and I thought she should turn it in to lost and found, but we were already a block away when she told me about it...so...I tried to take the high road, and make HER decide what to do. I said, "Whoever lost that will probably miss it a LOT, and will be sad when they go back to the store and no one has turned it in. How would you feel if that happened to you?" She's either too selfish, or she was too young. Or both. She kept the damn thing. Sigh. But I swear, we weren't anywhere NEAR Disneyland on Monday, and I (probably) don't have your umbrella.
Suzanne
PS: Gina, I finally remembered the next line in the song I quoted above. You'd best get out there and buy yourself a new 'brella. Stat.
Gina, sorry about the umbrella. It sounds like it was a special one.
Suzanne