Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Pain and Suffering, Act I

The scene: Gina's digestive tract at approximately 2am Tuesday morning.

Stomach: I'm bored.

Large Intestine: Yeah, me too.

Stomach: You know, I realized as we were watching the Golden Globes how much Gina has just let herself go.

Small Intestine: Yeah, it's a real shame. I mean, if she were to lose some weight, she could give that Scarlett Johanssen a run for her money.

Long silence

Stomach: Well, let's just say that I think she could at least beat out Melanie Griffiths.

Large Intestine: Melanie Griffiths for sure!

Stomach: OK then, who's with me on making sure that nothing more solid than oatmeal passes her lips for at least the next 48 hours? I say we just send it out both ways and that should give her a great jump start on losing some of that extra blubber!

Small Intestine: I'm in!

Large Intestine: Well, who gets to go first?

Stomach: Hmmmm, I think we should just do rock, paper, scissors.

Stomach: Damn, I will never understand why paper beats rock, but there it is.

Large Intestine: Wheee! I get to go first!

Stomach: As long as I get to give her the maximum pain and discomfort until I win, I'm on board. Even if it takes until 10am tomorrow morning.

Stomach, Large Intestine, Small Intestine: Gooooooo team!


chichimama said...

I. am. so. sorry. So sorry. I hope it is of the 24 hour variety. And I hope no one else in your family gets it.

Suzanne said...

I just KNEW that the organs conspired against us like this.

Hope you're feeling better!

Heather said...

Sounds like your innards were chatting with my innards and conspiring against us! I got hit with the same double whammy on Saturday night.

Anvilcloud said...

Well, that's pretty darn creative. I simply hate it when others are so smart and creative. Just kidding. :)

Mel said...

We (Suzanne and me) were wondering where you were! I hope you're feeling better. And now you're skinnier! Woo!

Piece of Work said...

Hilarious, Gina! And I'm so sorry. I had the same thing a week ago. But--good news!--not eating for 3 days really made my jeans fit a lot better.

Shopping Diva said...

I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or root for you. Um, I hope you feel better and dropped a jeans size?

Liz said...

Very clever! I'm glad you are starting to feel better.