Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I Have Been Known to Stay for 24 Hours, and They Didn't Want Me to Leave

So the problem has been that I have always, even as a young girl, (or should I say especially as a young girl) taken things personally.

Tiny things, big things, important things or ones that are truly inconsequential, it doesn't seem to matter. I will always perceive something as a reflection of me, not of the other person or people.

Oh, I have gotten much better over the years, and I think to this point except perhaps with my family, no one could probably be able to tell. But there is always a teensy part of me that whispers, "What did I do wrong?"

Which is what happened with the party. Looking back on it, there were probably only two people who I feel in retrospect bailed just because they felt like it. The others had quite legitimate reasons, but that wasn't the way I saw it Sunday.

I mean, I had great food, decor that had people impressed, I even had a freaking magician. And not a crappy magician, either, thank you. I had a kid's corner with toys for all ages, I had candelabra and 8 foot high medieval torches. I had linen tablecloths, and a throne that was at least 6 feet high with purple satin. I had high quality alcohol freely flowing for those that felt like it.

But people left early, most right after the main meal. In about 10 minutes, it seemed as if I had lost a third of my guests.

One was concerned that there were impending rain clouds, and she had a very long drive home. Another and his date also had a long drive home, but the clouds were not a factor. A whole family left because they weren't feeling well. A married couple said they had a previous engagement that they were already late for.

And so I immediately said to myself, "What did I do wrong that everyone wants to leave so early?" I completely knocked myself out for this party, as did my whole family, including my parents and Hubba-hubba.

This was not a lousy party, and yet I felt like I had done a lousy job. That I had somehow let people down and not done that elusive something that would have people stay until at least the cake was cut.

As a couple days have passed, I see now that there were many factors. It was a Sunday. In the middle of cold season. In the thick of Christmas season.

I should probably just be thankful that anyone came at all, eh?

I should probably just get over my narcissitic pity party, eh?

Because, as you all know, I'm selfish like that.


chichimama said...

I take everything personally as well. It sounds like a great party! And you're right, a potentially rainy Sunday in December would probably cut short my stay anyplace. So I think the fact that you had such a good turnout is testement to your party throwing abilities...

Suzanne said...

I would have taken it personally, too, even though the rational part of my brain would have acknowledged the legitimate reasons for early departures. The same goes for people who decline invitations. I can't help but wonder if it were merely the fact that I invited them that caused them to decline.

It sounds like a fabulous party! Did your sister enjoy it?

Elizabeth said...

It's a Sunday thang. Hate to break it to you but, you have wussy, Sunday-party friends.

I for one, would have stayed at least six hours with free flowing, quality alcohol and a non-crappy magician but then again, I don't care what day a party is on and will gladly pay the piper on Monday for the fun I reaped on Sunday. That's just me.

Gina said...

eb- Well, that's the thing, they weren't even my friends, they were my sister's! So that makes my feelings even more pathetic!

And, we had to have the party on Sunday because there were a number of her friends that had family obligations or office Christmas parties on Saturday.

Suzanne- I am pretty sure she had fun. I mean, who wouldn't have fun wearing a crown, a rhinestone cape and a personalized scepter? That alone would have done it for me!

Anvilcloud said...

Some things aren't meant to work out as well as we envision. Cuppa used to have neighbourhood teas at Christmas. She tried to make a go of it for years but moslty got no-shows for her troubles. Today, here in this neighbourhood, she's invited five, and I've a feeling that they'll all be here. It's the luck of the draw sometimes.

blueyedtracy said...

Hi Gina,
Now I'm a little worried abou the shindig I'm having for my son's 3rd this weekend. We actually thought no one would come but family, but every one has RSVP'd "yes". Who'd of thunk it . . . in the thick of Christmas stuff?? I'm sure we'll have some cancellations at the last minute as people say to themselves, "do I really want to attend one more party - and a kid's party at that??"
Your view is great . . . very similar to mine. I'll have to figure out a way to send it to you.
And, lately I"m laying down on the floor next to little-guy's bed to get him to go to sleep ok. Tonight he was afraid of ghosts. I encouraged him to talk to Jesus about his fears. A few minutes later he started singing "Jesus Loves Me" and then threw in 'because of scary ghosts and monsters", and somehow he kept it all to the tune of "Jesus Loves Me".

Piece of Work said...

OH, Gina, that is one of the reasons I rarely throw parties. I'm always convinced no one will show up.
I think the others are right--it was sunday,it was Christmastime. And maybe your sisters friends are just lame.

It sounds like an awesome party!

theyellowwallpaper said...

"High quality alcohol freely flowing" - You would have had to kick me out to go to bed.

I agree with earlier comments: I bet the fact that it did take place on Sunday had an impact. Mentally, by Sunday night, you are already thinking of the long week ahead. Plus, a lot of people as they get older really do lose their lasting power. It's like "I've been away from my nest for almost three hours - abort! Abort!"