Hubba-Hubba, W.D.

So I think I have written before about Hubba-hubba's propensity to believe utterly nonsensical things when it comes to illnesses and the body. It is sometimes hard for me to remember that this is an extremely intelligent, well-read man. A man who was accepted and attended (however briefly due to my unexpected pregnancy) a well-known law school.

If you told him that the way to get rid of a wart was to soak it in jello, then rub brown sugar on it, a tiny part of his remnant reptilian brain would respond and take over his rational thinking. Yessss, the reptilian brain would hiss. It makes sense, jello to soften the wart and then brown sugar to exfoliate it off. Yesss, this seems like it would work.

I am always trying to fend off strange pronouncements that come from nowhere but out of his ass.

Case in point:

Hubba-hubba was on the couch, watching our son maniacally bounce and run and twist his body into impossible positions. Mr. Personality had also been extremely emotional this morning, bursting into tears for really no reason at all, despite having slept 13 hours straight during the night.

Hubba-hubba looked at me and said with complete seriousness, "You know, I think last night he must have had some kind of hormone release or something."

I said oh-so-eloquently, "Huh?"

"Yeah, you know I think he must have had something like growing pains or something. Because even though he slept so well, he is still crying and being ornery. His boy-ness is really coming out today."

I used to try to refute him, but after so many years, I am simply reduced to an eye roll.

This is life with what I like to call "The Witch Doctor."

I'll take prayers, I'll take ceremonial tribal dances. Just send help.

Comments

Suzanne said…
I find myself doing the same internal eye-rolling over some things my mother and mother-in-law have to say about child-rearing, especially illness.
8:24 AM
blueyedtracy said…
First of all . . .your son slept for 13 hours straight!!?? OH man, I'd love for my little guy to go even 11. Although, Mr. Personality doesn't take naps anymore does he? Hmmm . .maybe a tradeoff of sorts??

I don't have a 'second' or 'third'. I think I did when I began this comment, but they're gone.
2:58 PM
Gina said…
Yes, when the naps stopped, the late-ish bedtimes stopped as well. Now he is in bed by 730 at the latest, and normally wakes up between 630 and 7.

He hasn't slept 13 hours in a looong time, and the last time was when he was recovering from an illness. Crossing my fingers that he isn't sick, as Hubba-hubba and I both are.
6:44 PM
Dani said…
I like it when my hubby points out the obvious to me as if I hadn't figured it out.

For example:
"You know, if you just turn off the kitchen lights. The kids won't go in there and make a mess."

What he neglects to notice is that I had only taken a bathroom break (which is next to the kitchen) in the process of doing the dishes. I just said, "You've got to be kidding," and poured myself a glass of wine.
11:25 AM
Suzanne said…
My son easily sleeps for 13 hours straight. But only when he's at home. At school, he says he's lucky to get 4-5 hours a night.

I still peek in at him.
Don't rat me out.
He'll start locking his door. :)

Suzanne
6:14 AM
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