So for at least the past year or so, I looked at my ballooning self in the mirror, perplexed. It's hard to say exactly when I started feeling not really like myself in many, many ways. I wondered at my inability to motivate myself to move more. I pondered as to why my head was likely to explode in frustration at small things. I felt like something was not quite right, but there was nothing specific to point to. I just called myself a big fat ass and despaired.
During the summer, I told myself that I was going to eat pretty much exactly what Mr. Personality eats, which is healthy healthy healthy, for the most part. A little experiment on my part, just to see what would happen. Of course, I was not perfect, but a concerted effort was made to put good things in, hoping for an outcome that would slim me down. My activity level stayed the same.
I actually gained weight.
I watched my clothes become tighter and tighter, and I said to myself, this is just not right. I told Hubba-hubba that I thought something was wrong physically, because there should have been no way my weight went up. He will vehemently deny what he said, but he basically said wasn't that the wish of every overweight person, that they could point to some physical malady to blame their weight on.
Well, after some bloodwork submitted, I now can.
It seems that I have hypothyroidism. Basically, a slow metabolism due to lack of the thyroid producing a hormone. And just look at this fun list of symptoms:
Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
Coarse, dry hair
Dry, rough pale skin
Cold intolerance (can't tolerate the cold like those around you)
Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
Abnormal menstrual cycles
Well no freakin' wonder! Not to say that I have been a model citizen of eating healthy and moving as much as I should, I have not. I eat many more bad things than I should and I don't work out even close to enough. But the puzzling major gains and lethargy are finally understood. Now I just need to pop these hormones for probably the rest of my life and see if we can't get things revving again. My only problem with the hormone is that I have to take it first thing in the morning and wait an hour to eat. And sometimes I am just damn hungry in the mornings, and that makes me crabby. I'm pathetic, I know.
I started wondering when exactly this reduction in the thyroid produced hormone began. I read on one site that sometimes pregnancy can cause it in certain people. I'm wondering if that is the case, although I am sure that it will never be determined.
Just another reason to thank Mr. Personality, that memory loss was a bitch. Actually, I don't care if I only had one of those damn symptoms, I'm going to claim each and every one. I'm all about shifting the blame.