So what follows is a transcript of the first obscene telephone call I ever received. I must have been about 11 or 12, and I remember that I had recently been reading one of my sister's Seventeen magazines.
Pervert on the Phone: Heavy Breathing
Pervert on the Phone: Hey, I have a 10 inch d!ck...
Me: Oh really? You wear a size ten?
Pervert on the Phone: Wha?
Me: (prattling) Yeah, I think I wear about a size 4 of those, but I'm not really sure. It could be a 6...
Pervert on the Phone: (completely baffled by what I just said) Unnhhhh... click.
You see, I thought the Pervert on the Phone said "Dickies." Not long before the phone rang, I had seen an ad in my sister's magazine for that particular clothing line. I was so naive, it didn't hit me until much later what he had actually said to me.
I think I am probably the only 12 year old on earth who made the obscene caller hang up on me.