Thursday, July 07, 2005

Too Much Testosterone in Here

I alluded to it in an earlier post, but the war between Mr. Personality and Hubba-hubba is getting down and dirty.

I am used to taking a shower, only to have the door thrown open halfway through by a blubbering, inchoherent Mr. Personality, who usually has some shaky claim about how his father is treating him badly. I am used to him screaming to come with me to the grocery store, even though Dad is ready and willing to play cars with him, and perhaps sneak him a cookie. I am used to him preferring me to read his books to him, making him food, and helping him to get dressed. I suspected most of that is because I am at home with him all day, and he is just used to the way I do things.

But, Mr. Personality crossed the line today when he snifflingly announced to us, "I don't like Dada."

Ooooh, that's gotta to hurt.

The night before had been a battle royale over who was going to put him to bed. Hubba-hubba works at night, so most nights it is me who has this usually enjoyable task. But, when told that Mommy needed a break and that Dada was going to put him down, the screeches of outrage were loud enough to frighten any animal within a radius of 200 feet. Dada wisely decided that this particular front would be fought with no quarter given, and it dragged on for a good hour and a half. Finally Mr. Personality realized that indeed, Dada was putting him to bed and fell asleep.

It is Dada who takes him to the pool, it is Dada who is willing to get splashed by bathwater. Dada "plays rough" with him like males are wont to do, tickling him and sort of throwing him about. Dada taught him how to play hide and seek, and it is Dada who has been up with him countless times during the night when he has had trouble sleeping.

But, for whatever reason, he can do no right in the eyes of his son right now. It makes me a little sad, because I am not sure of the reasoning behind Mr. Personality's actions. I don't know if it is just an especially clingy phase, or if he is attempting to pull some sort of power play between the two of us. For the time being, I am trying to play mediator, and stressing to Mr. Personality how much his dad loves him and all the things he does that I don't.

I am also in a state of dread, because I'm sure my turn is coming up soon.

2 comments:

blueyedtracy said...

There is a simliar drama that plays out here too. My little guy is 2 & 1/2 and seems to be having some werid version of separation anxiety . . . especially when it comes to just being with Dad. My husband is a good dad, doing many of the same things you described. He makes sure the little guy gets some boy-type activities and energy expenditure somewhere in the day. (Today it was doing "slam dunks" on the kiddie hoop and then watching the parts of Star Wars he's alllowed to watch.) The only way these days for me to get alone time is to leave the house. If I try to go into a different room, the little man is outside asking for me - completely ignoring Dad. I don't get it. Good luck to you!

blueyedtracy said...

There is a simliar drama that plays out here too. My little guy is 2 & 1/2 and seems to be having some werid version of separation anxiety . . . especially when it comes to just being with Dad. My husband is a good dad, doing many of the same things you described. He makes sure the little guy gets some boy-type activities and energy expenditure somewhere in the day. (Today it was doing "slam dunks" on the kiddie hoop and then watching the parts of Star Wars he's alllowed to watch.) The only way these days for me to get alone time is to leave the house. If I try to go into a different room, the little man is outside asking for me - completely ignoring Dad. I don't get it. Good luck to you!