Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Hormonal Imbalance?

So the club of stay-at-home mothers to which I belong has basically self-imploded. When I first joined, it seemed that they were a fairly tight knit bunch of gals that basically got along. But then the leadership changed, and it seems based on the results, that it was not very good leadership. It turned clique-ish, with a "we're better than you," mentality. Attendance to events and meetings dropped to almost nothing, and then the outgoing club treasurer sent a long, excoriating email to everyone chastising them for their lack of interest in the club. At first I thought, where does she get off sending this to us, but then another side of me applauded her for speaking her mind.

What happens to us women sometimes? For my entire work history, I worked almost exclusively with women. As they say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Don't get me wrong, when the right group of ladies clicks, they can be practically a force of nature. I have had great bosses and built wonderful relationships with them, my peers, and employees. But when someone gets their panties in a knot, which seems to happen disproportionately with women, watch out because somebody's gonna get hurt.

Women also seem to just be more conniving, more back-stabby than men, or at least they are more transparent about it. At my last job, I had a boss who would be as sweet as pie to your face, asking about your family, your love life, and such. Her interest was intense, she would press for more details, you had the impression that she cared. She could then walk out the door and in the hallway literally outside your office tell another person that you are the biggest bitch she has ever had to deal with.

Some of my most nasty coworkers have unequivocally been women. My top prizes for horrible staff members go to women as well. It was my female bosses who tried to strip me of my duties when I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, declaring me "unreliable." It was a woman who informed me that she was the sun, and I was just a tiny, insignificant planet that revolved around her, and that I had better not forget it.

I've had just a couple problems with men, and I think that boiled down more to the fact that I was a younger woman who was their supervisor. I'm certainly not saying that men don't have their flaws, they do.

But sometimes women propel themselves into an altogether different stratosphere when it comes to getting along (or not) with other women. Can it be blamed on hormones? On the fact that we are just more emotional than men and our first reaction to something tends to be on that level? Am I just being too general and painting women with too broad a brush?

The leadership of my club changed hands this month, and I feel bad for the new board, they certainly have their work cut out for them. In fact, one of the positions remains open because there is no one, including me, willing to fill it.

Hopefully, I will get no hate mail on this. From my the evidence I have gathered empirically over many years, this is what I have come to think. I am not "down" on women in any way.

Can't we all just get along?

I know you didn't see that last line coming. It just came out of nowhere and smacked you right in the forehead. What can I say? It must be a gift.


Anvilcloud said...

I have heard about this side of female relations but haven't really had negative experiences to any great degree. I have had female principals who were pretty darn good people. Perhaps they did take themselves a little mopre seriously than the men and want to control the agenda more. Do you think that's part of what you are describing?

Piece of Work said...

Generally speaking, I think women are just more sensitive than men. SO our feelings get hurt, and then we take it out on others.